Ladies and Gentlemen: The 44th President of the United States of America

The day Senator Barack Obama was elected the 44th president of this great land, marks an important day in history. In fact, apparently the whole world thought so too. Thousands, nay millions, perhaps billions of people were freaking out all over the planet. Dancing, parading, waving banners of praise in the streets; once again falling in love with the USA and it's leader after many years of being repulsed by it. I wonder how George W. felt about all that? Talk about being the most unpopular guy ever.

Obama's First Task as President

Washington, D.C. (Krapsody) - As you all know, unless you are living under a rock, or in a cave, America has chosen it's new leader. We give you President Barack "the Brock" Obama. America's first whitest "black" president.

American voters did face the most difficult of all decisions in last night's election. Polls indicated that after Obama's infomercial on Oct 30, many voters were confused as to whether to vote Obama, and they'd receive a free set of Ginsu knives and a Bedazzler; or whether to vote McCain and receive a senior citizen Wal-Mart greeter with Alzheimer's, and a grinning redneck dressed in Banana Republican outerwear shooting squirrels in their backyard. Certainly a tough decision by any standards.

Pantless Trouble in Utah

Mon Oct. 27, 2008

Salt Lake City, Utah (Krapsody) - A woman was escorted from a TRAX train Monday morning after fellow riders reported that she was not wearing any pants. Yes, not wearing any pants.

Around 7:30 a.m., Utah Transit Authority officers bum rushed the woman and escorted her off the train. They proceeded with interrogating her inside a musty janitor closet on a small, uncomfortable wooden chair under a bright lamp at the 5400 South station in Midellanowhere, Utah.

After the officers argued over who was going to play out "good cop, bad cop" and finally "sauntering cop, shimmying cop" roles with the "nekkid" woman, they suddenly realized she was in fact wearing a miniskirt. Her coat was covering the skirt, leading fellow riders to stare at, and their evil gossiping wives to believe she was not wearing anything beneath her waist, said UTA spokesman Harry Ballsack-Slapper (who is a Mormon and has thirteen wives).

After the retarded Nazis interviewed the woman and realized their error, they let her get back on the train and continue her ride, with some psychological scarring and a little less dignity than when she started her trip perhaps.

The moral of the story is to make sure that your fellow passengers don't decide that you aren't wearing pants, even though you are. So maybe you shouldn't wear any just in case you get pulled from a train in Utah. Just be sure to wear a coat that covers that miniskirt you're wearing, because if you were really naked that would be wrong... and disturbing.

Since hardly anything newsworthy happens in Utah other than the usual polygamist prosecution cases, people getting thrown from trains and re-enactments of the Mountain Meadows Massacre of Sept. 11th, 1857, here is an unrelated story; On Thursday, a fire gutted the Salt Lake City, Utah library causing $6.95 worth of damage . . . It could have been worse but someone had the coloring book checked out.

Story taken from The Salt Lake Tribune article, 10/27/08

Krapsody's Nottie of the Week™!

You may have already heard of the Hottie of the Week memes many blogs and other websites publish.

But not until now has the internet had the Nottie of the Week™!

That's right, it's a new meme I just created. It's officially trademarked now, and Krapsody has it's own personals and internet dating forum, Krapspot Personals right here at Krapsody - where you can meet a stalker meant for you.

So tune in each week to see the ugliest, most disgusting mugs to grace the pages of anything, anywhere on the planet. Maybe you can meet your match. Only here at Krapsody folks. This should be a perfect Halloween scare!


The first inclusion:

Anita Mann looks like she is just a bundle of joy. And quite fit for a bucket of turkey vomit. Maybe these ads are normally charged by the word, but I think that "Vile, repulsive, single, with eyes-so-large-and-fish like-and-abnormally-spread-apart-that-sheep-dog-bangs-a-moustache-and-a-cigarette-couldn't-conceal-her-identity..." would be a much more accurate description. Seriously? An Ewok king someplace is gonna be pissed when he finds out that his daughter is peddling herself.

Here' another fantastic idea. Join a free internet dating site, like OkCupid.com and create a fake profile.

Be creative, submit a fake picture of the ugliest person alive (or close enuff) snatched from anywhere on the net, create a set of bogus interests and details about "yourself" and then eventually send me the link. I'll take a screen shot and post it here for a Nottie of the Week™ showcase. This should bring about the ultimate lulz, especially if you get responses. Our fiasco could also possibly bring the end to internet dating.

Be an internet meme for Halloween and out-nerd your friends... I'll be posting up my fake profile soon. =D

Zoo Trainer Loses Keys Inside Elephant

Tues Oct. 18, 2008

Monaco, France (Krapsody) - On Saturday at the Monaco Zoo, Alois Schieklgrüber, one of the most famous elephant trainers in Europe, lost his keys to the animal cages inside an elephant. It was a master set, making the situation all the more urgent. An emergency extraction had to be performed. The elephant, Penelope, is said to be out of harms way and is doing well. It is reported that the keys could have caused a "bowel problem", requiring an unconventional method of removal.