'Murican Beauty

Sweet Sweet Revenge

If justice and revenge were the only options.

One Way to Find the Inner Peace You're Looking For

Tired of that obscene emptiness and that dark inner void on the road to seeking your inner peace? Well, after all the crazy stuff that's gone down in the media lately, I think we could all use a moment to relax and just forget about it all.

Here, this should help:

LINK

9 Students to Save the World: No it's Not a Movie

Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:29 pm
Updated: Sun Jun 2, 2013 2:12 pm

Bovine Colons, Earth (Krapsody) - An article published in Technology News at The Engineer online claimed:

Nine students from the Tech-Israel Institute of Technology have developed a model spacecraft for deflecting objects falling from space. The model has been created in response to the asteroid Apophis which scientists believe will collide with Earth in 2036, and was presented at a competition of NASA and the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics. [Read Full Story]

Extreme Nasal Hair

source: sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net via Static on Pinterest

Gilligan Does It Again

It's a redneck's wet dream y'all! DERP!!

LINK

The guy giving hand signals must have shit himself somethin' fierce. I can just imagine the driver and the Hand Signal Guy giving each other looks while they are airborne...

Driver: "What do I do, Haws?"

Hand Signal Guy: "Bail, goddammit!"

If the Hand Signal Guy had just worn a sockpuppet on his hand then this accident might have been prevented... (Read more >>>>>)

Raptor Santa Nearly Ruins Christmas

Sun. Jan. 01, 2012

Minneapolis, MN. (Krapsody) - The seasonal experience of children sitting on Santa's lap and reading him their wishlist is a time-honored tradition, and a delight for young and old. But some things that we experience in our youth will be cherished forever, and some things will never be the same again after experiencing them.

On Saturday December 24 at a Macy's "Santa Workshop" in a Minneapolis mall, shoppers and employees got more than what they bargained for when a curious girl sitting on Santa's lap gave his beard a tug to test it's authenticity. But Santa's beard gave way revealing the scaly-faced reptilian grimace of none other than Raptor Santa - shocking everyone.

Political Suess

What if life in Washington were like a Dr. Seuss book? Don't you wonder what that might be like? I know I do. It's not as far-fetched as you might think.

Yertle the Turtle thinks he is the king of the pond. He brags that he is the biggest, the fastest, and the strongest. All was well until he decided his kingdom was too small. He made each turtle stand on another one’s back. And he piled them all up in a big turtle stack. And underneath Yertle, it's turtles all the way down.

Goldman Sachs Joins Occupy Wall Street

In this hilarious parody Goldman Sachs CEO and Chairman Lloyd Blankfein joins the Occupy Wall Street movement and surprisingly he doesn't get pepper sprayed.

Some highlights:

* 0:37 Sifting through his wallet, not-Blankenfein exclaims, "I plan to stay down here for as long as I can with what I have on me. Let's see, that's two hundred...three hundred...four hundred thousand dollars. That should last, what? About a week?"

* 1:12 "I've done a lot of terrible things, but I've never hunted a homeless man for sport. Can Richard Branson say that?"

* 1:41 "Goldman Sachs is not Satan, but we do manage the majority of his offshore assets."

Credit: Rusty Ward (LINK)

Shat Happens at 20000 Feet

The top 5 rejected 'Nightmare at 20000 Feet' Twilight Zone clips starring William Shatner.




Rejected 'Nightmare at 20000 Feet' Twilight Zone promotional photos starring William Shatner (more follows...)

Asian Baby

Respect for the Asian Baby lulz: by BadLipReading

More BadLipReading hilarity can be found here.
Cheese fries next time. Remember to save a pretzel for the gas jets.

Don't Masturbate To This

Caption This Clown

"The morning after his nephew's party, Uncle Dale stumbled into the bathroom,
looked in the mirror, and discovered he was the victim of a drunk drawing incident."

I anxiously await your witty captions and retorts in the comments section.

Why The Rapture Failed

And lo, it came to pass that Macho Man Randy Savage did prevent the impending Rapture. Amen.

Macho Man Randy Savage Dies In Car Accident (5/20/2011 day before Rapture prediction) [Full Story]

The Ruptured

LINK

Oh, cheer up Harold. We all make mistakes. It's not the end of the world.

Further reading amusement: Harold Camping - "World will actually end in October"

In Honor of National Vegetarian Week

LINK

BOOM...HEADSHOT!!

Bin Laden...dead? Just for the record, this is not exclusive footage, nor is it a dramatic reenactment. At best, it is a cheap sloppy imitation, or whimsical imagining. Good day.

Q & A With the Easter Bunny

Jenny: So who is the Easter Bunny, really?

Easter Bunny: I am a part-time test subject for Revlon and I moonlight in the entertainment industry. Maybe you've seen my work in Peter Rabbit, Looney Tunes, and the Cadbury Egg commercial advertisements? I like to talk about myself in third person. Every year near Easter, I preach the words of Jesus and warn children of atheists not to meddle in theology that doesn't belong to them. After these sermons, photo opportunities are generally granted, but only to the pious for $5. My neighbors describe me as "a quiet loner." The rotting corpse of the Energizer Bunny was recently discovered in the Easter Bunny's crawl space. Christ Jebus! Easter has been canceled folks. They found the body. On that note, I have to go now.

p.s. Cadbury Eggs are made from feces of C-list celebrities.

Japan Earthquake Linked to Charlie Sheen

Oh, no, they say he's got to go
Go go Sheenzilla.
(click to embiggen)

Thur. March 17, 2011

Mt. Godzuki, Japan (Krapsody) - Last Friday's magnitude 9.0 quake and subsequent tsunami killed upwards of 5,692, and more than 9,500 people are missing. Tens of thousands more are living in temporary shelters, but only a small handful have been evacuated.

The massive quake damaged a nuclear reactor plant at Fukushima, described by one NPR correspondent from Japan as "probably not as bad as Chernobyl," and another correspondent was quoted as saying, "It's just as bad as Nagasaki, Hiroshima, and Chernobyl combined. It must violate clean air rules by now I would think." Crews are working around the clock to stabilize the reactor before the situation gets any more out of hand.

Meanwhile many homeless citizens gathered around the growing fire at the plant to make shish kabobs and s'mores. One man remarked, "My teeth are glowing a brilliant neon green now, don't you agree?" as he smiled. Indeed his teeth were as green as it gets.

Leave It To Bieber

Add this image to your website:
<p><a href="http://www.krapsody.com/2011/02/leave-it-to-bieber.html"><img src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiLtec365ZJg5W7BUAFrmok4Pcc7WTxU_6Z2OWbLLZR5aobOqjKoAsuVx2Dnrq5sWgbbrLsUo9ENFGc4EO8A5VCZDJDf8yMn0LTJm0D3I1-P3tsssXyTKGQtSlFOMx7lVeN5EUwV3L5UVCo/s1600/Leave+it+to+Bieber+copy.jpg" border="0" alt="Leave it to Bieber" /></a></p><p>Image by <a href="http://www.krapsody.com/">Krapsody.com</a></p>