Donnie Trump: Busted Skunk

USA, (Miami, FL) -- Donald J. Trump, American businessman, politician, and former president of the United States has used several pseudonyms, including "John Barron" (or "John Baron"), "John Miller" and "David Dennison", the Secret Service has referred to him as "Mogul", and world leaders such as Kim Jong Un have referred to as "Dotard", was indicted today on 37 counts of accusations that the former US president risked US national security, foreign relations, safety of US military and intelligence gathering by removing hundreds of classified documents from the White House. 

Move over Amber Turd, this evening Trump will also be commonly known as Donny the "Phantom Sh*tter", as he is allegedly being held in custody and is facing charges of 14,000 counts of public indecency for defecating in public. 

The shitter in question.

When questioned, Trump replied with, "Yes, it was I who shat in or on your desks, your public squares, your lobbies, your foyers, your grocery aisles, your bathroom floors, your closets, your sidewalks, in your beds as you slept, and yes, even in your veggie hamberders." Trump frequently used fecal matter as a way of bringing attention to issues he has felt strong about -- such as the 2020 US presidential elections and illegal immigrants. 

One of many shits in question.

Trump, aka the "Phantom Sh*tter", was identified by his trademark signature, "P.S." or "Phantom Sh*tter", always signed at the bottom of every note left behind, scrawled in his own feces either on the wall or floor of the spaces he violated. If convicted, Trump could be facing a sentence of up to 4,800,001 months in jail and a $31.5 trillion dollar fine, or whatever equals the current national debt.

Premature Evacuation

Upvote Meme

Drain Bamage, Rocky, Drain Bamage

President Trump Blind After Staring at Solar Eclipse

"What on Gawd's green earth is THAT?"

The Struggle is Real

Boss Hogg Desperately Seeking Sugar Baby

| Nov. 14, 2014

Recently Georgia State University ranked at the top of the list of 20 colleges with the highest number of sugar babies. For those unfamiliar with the practice, a sugar baby is a young person who provides companionship to an older sugar daddy (or mommy) in exchange for money and gifts. The babies and sugar daddies meet on dating sites that cater to gold-diggers and chicks with daddy issues looking for generous, but perverted older men who want young women.

Hazzard County big wig, Boss Hogg, is no exception. Sugar daddies, like Boss Hogg, know college babies have financial needs, including student loans and tuition to pay off. So when all other means of earning income are exhausted, becoming a sugar baby doesn't seem so bad for a 20-year-old girl trying to pay her way through college and have extra money for partying, spray tans and clothes. Sugar babies are desperate and willing to do anything for cash, and the sugar daddies are either married or single and desperate for companionship.

Survey Says Ebola Is a Real Thing That Is Just About as Dangerous as Cigarettes

| Oct. 29, 2014

The Ebola virus (or E-bola, the electronic virus that infects computers), an epidemic in West Africa, has spread to computers worldwide, leading the United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team to declare an emergency. The team is working closely with Intel Security to contain the outbreak.

Rebecca's Black Friday

A Special Report by Dubious Monk

Mon. Nov. 25, 2013 (Fargo, N.D.) - Black Friday evokes all kinds of things to the average consumer. Deep discounts and doorbuster deals are enticing and have consumers lining up to snag them—which is exactly what retailers want. But most retailers have limited quantities of heavily-discounted items, which require consumers to be crafty in how they get those must-have gifts.

This is where the atypical suburbanite Mrs. Rebecca Robinson comes in. A forty-something year old woman who has ruthlessly perfected her holiday shopping strategy. Known as a fearsome "powershopper" amongst her small community, Robinson's skills are respected, if not despised, by all who know her.

Universal Obamacare on the Mend

Tue. Oct. 8, 2013 (Krapsody) - Late this afternoon the switch to turn the government back on has been flipped. Dems have acknowledged that in order to satiate and reward repubs, they had to provide some incentive to reach an agreement over the Obamacare stand-off.

As part of the deal that has been struck, Obama's much lauded death panels have gotten the green light. As per the agreement, Republicans will get to choose one patient each to die in a trade-off between affordable care and the forceful nature of the socialist empire.

If you did not get the memo, the Federation
will not comply with straightforward answers
to your questions about Obamacare.

Most likely the death panels will begin cutting off life support for persons in vegetative states first, and then slowly begin denying expensive treatments to other individuals on the grounds that treatments are "not medically necessary".

Be prepared to see an increase in medical malpractice as inexperienced interns will cause the health care industry to be flooded with complaints and lawsuits.
Hey, the end . . . always justifies the means, people.

Additionally, placebos will be commonplace as well as unlicensed medical procedures will not only be encouraged, they may be necessary in some circumstances as citizens may have to wait months to get an appointment with their physicians inside the government-required health care juggernaut.

Those needing treatments and procedures to improve their health or save their lives can visit their local bookstore and/or visit e-tailers like Amazon to purchase how-to guides.

Examples of the kinds of specialties you could expect to see on store shelves include "The How-To Guide: Home Anesthesiology", "Self-Appendectomy For Idiots", "Semi-healthy Alternatives to Chemotherapy" and "Neurosurgery For Dummies".

Look for Krapsody's own procedural guide: "How to Perform a Vasectomy in 30 Seconds" available on the web for the low low introductory price of $9.95 plus $3 in "just for the fuck of it" fees.

Sweet Sweet Revenge

If justice and revenge were the only options.

9 Students to Save the World: No it's Not a Movie

Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:29 pm
Updated: Sun Jun 2, 2013 2:12 pm

Bovine Colons, Earth (Krapsody) - An article published in Technology News at The Engineer online claimed:

Nine students from the Tech-Israel Institute of Technology have developed a model spacecraft for deflecting objects falling from space. The model has been created in response to the asteroid Apophis which scientists believe will collide with Earth in 2036, and was presented at a competition of NASA and the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics. [Read Full Story]

Extreme Nasal Hair

source: sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net via Static on Pinterest

Mayan Death Toad Destroys World Today

Friday December 21, 2012 (Krapsody) — In case you didn't get the memo: The world is coming to an end! Over two thousand bazillion years ago the Mayans predicted a giant death toad was going to appear in the sky, it will eat the sun and rays will shoot out of it's eyes destroying the universe as we know it.

Now I know some people are going to want to lick it, but the Mayan Death Toad won't have it. This is no time for last minute wishes or regrets. Too late. There's no escape. Just ask people in time zones ahead of us, like in China or Australia. But you can't because they're all gone! If you have been told that China and all it's people are still there, you're wrong! The cunning Mayan Death Toad knows how to trick people. It's had over two thousand bazillion years to prepare for this moment!

What up with Sarah Palin's "Shuck n' Jive" comment?

Just days prior to Obama's reelection, Ms. Palin made a statement on her Facebook page with some offhand remark about Obama and her opinions about his handling of the Benghazi attack, referring to his administration's response as a "Shuck and Jive shtick." Her opponents have been wondering what she meant by that comment. Was her statement racist, or was it taken out of context? Krapsody tracked her down to find out.

Palin, down wit de jive.

"'Sup, dudes! Mah' dojigger be Sarah Palin and I'm waaay down wid de JIVE rap, suckas. Duzn't assume dat plum a'cuz ah' used some phrase about Obama usin' 'SHUCK N' JIVE' means ah' am some kinda racist or sumtin'."

Raptor Santa Nearly Ruins Christmas

Sun. Jan. 01, 2012

Minneapolis, MN. (Krapsody) - The seasonal experience of children sitting on Santa's lap and reading him their wishlist is a time-honored tradition, and a delight for young and old. But some things that we experience in our youth will be cherished forever, and some things will never be the same again after experiencing them.

On Saturday December 24 at a Macy's "Santa Workshop" in a Minneapolis mall, shoppers and employees got more than what they bargained for when a curious girl sitting on Santa's lap gave his beard a tug to test it's authenticity. But Santa's beard gave way revealing the scaly-faced reptilian grimace of none other than Raptor Santa - shocking everyone.

Raid Kills Pests On Contact

Endorsed by Lt. John Pikes and Megyn Kellys everywhere.

If You Want To Occupy, Occupy This

Occupy Wall Street has been gaining momentum since it was conceptualized, spreading globally to places as far away as Antarctica. Many occupiers have taken to the internet to air their grievances, and social networks like Facebook have provided an accessible place for protesters to gather together and discuss news and other subjects related to their cause. So far there's been a large turnout. However, it hasn't stopped there. The movement to Occupy has made it to the stars, because only the stars are the limit.

CACA Needs Your Support In The Fight Against DWTS

Scientists and entertainers on ABC have JUST gotten out of hand. Their foul plans bring godlessness and corruption to everything they touch. They have defied Gawd's Holy Word and have committed the following abominations against Gawd and Man:

1. made the earth round
2. made monkeys unto our forefathers
3. allowed women to read and write, to have orgasms, and lay with other women

Trolling Mark Zuckerberg on Google +

I have to admit nothing has been more fun on Google + than trolling douchebag trolls like Mark Zuckerberg. Apparently, I got his attention with these two comments - and he appears to be thin-skinned because not long after I started bagging on him he blocked me.

Cogito, Ergo Confundo - I Think, Therefore I am Confused

with
Krapsody.com Reporter Dubious Monk
Inside Tropical Storm Irene



NEWSFLASH! Everything in New England shut down as Irene was downgraded from a hurricane to a tropical storm. As the storm was overhead, I scurried down to the hurricane barriers in Providence, RI to catch the action but there was none to be found.