Q & A With the Easter Bunny

Jenny: So who is the Easter Bunny, really?

Easter Bunny: I am a part-time test subject for Revlon and I moonlight in the entertainment industry. Maybe you've seen my work in Peter Rabbit, Looney Tunes, and the Cadbury Egg commercial advertisements? I like to talk about myself in third person. Every year near Easter, I preach the words of Jesus and warn children of atheists not to meddle in theology that doesn't belong to them. After these sermons, photo opportunities are generally granted, but only to the pious for $5. My neighbors describe me as "a quiet loner." The rotting corpse of the Energizer Bunny was recently discovered in the Easter Bunny's crawl space. Christ Jebus! Easter has been canceled folks. They found the body. On that note, I have to go now.

p.s. Cadbury Eggs are made from feces of C-list celebrities.

Ten Things God Would Die For

"When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, "There's just something about you that pisses me off."

- Stephen King

Mar 05, 2009

Retardeau, France (Krapsody)- A flashback to an article I published last year as a guest blogger on the now defunct Cult of Qelqoth. I examined what the Pope's visit to France brought in the way of spiritual enlightenment.

Is God appalled at the primitive, downright heretical, nature of our prayers? Does God truly have mercy on us? Will God save humanity once again? These questions and more have finally been answered here - your direct port to the Almighty.

Institutions of Jocularity Part II

Tue Feb. 03, 2009

Dingleberry, USA (Krapsody) - The other evening while looking at the moon through a telescope I saw a few people screwing around up there, as if that wasn't alarming enough one of them had a telescope and they noticed me watching them. This Buzz Aldrin lookin' bastard gave me the finger and then mooned me. Not much else to say about that. But I managed to get a picture.

Institutions of Jocularity Part I

Fri Jan. 09, 2009

Dingleberry, USA (Krapsody) - Sphincterology, it's not just for assholes anymore. In my continuing effort to bring readers great things, I present you with the latest scoop on religious cults and their megalomaniacal leaders and sheep-like followers..damn you all.