"Content Creator"

Social media be like:

Donnie Trump: Busted Skunk

USA, (Miami, FL) -- Donald J. Trump, American businessman, politician, and former president of the United States has used several pseudonyms, including "John Barron" (or "John Baron"), "John Miller" and "David Dennison", the Secret Service has referred to him as "Mogul", and world leaders such as Kim Jong Un have referred to as "Dotard", was indicted today on 37 counts of accusations that the former US president risked US national security, foreign relations, safety of US military and intelligence gathering by removing hundreds of classified documents from the White House. 

Move over Amber Turd, this evening Trump will also be commonly known as Donny the "Phantom Sh*tter", as he is allegedly being held in custody and is facing charges of 14,000 counts of public indecency for defecating in public. 

The shitter in question.

When questioned, Trump replied with, "Yes, it was I who shat in or on your desks, your public squares, your lobbies, your foyers, your grocery aisles, your bathroom floors, your closets, your sidewalks, in your beds as you slept, and yes, even in your veggie hamberders." Trump frequently used fecal matter as a way of bringing attention to issues he has felt strong about -- such as the 2020 US presidential elections and illegal immigrants. 

One of many shits in question.

Trump, aka the "Phantom Sh*tter", was identified by his trademark signature, "P.S." or "Phantom Sh*tter", always signed at the bottom of every note left behind, scrawled in his own feces either on the wall or floor of the spaces he violated. If convicted, Trump could be facing a sentence of up to 4,800,001 months in jail and a $31.5 trillion dollar fine, or whatever equals the current national debt.

Legalize Comedy

"...unless you're making fun of me..then that's illegal." - Elon Musk

DERPY DARPA

I'm a by-product of plant-eating robots and mechanical elephants. k

 5/7 do not recommend.

✓ 8 weird DARPA projects that make science fiction seem like real life.

Totally not creepy, at all. But with a $3.5 billion budget ANNUALLY, anyone can say that unicorns exist.

A Fatal Exception Has Occured

Goodbye Prez Cheeto Hello Post-pandemic Keto

BREAKING: Coronavirus Contagious: If Only Someone Had Warned the President

Now Back to Ignoring My Armageddon Anxiety

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Now back to ignoring my Armageddon Anxiety #trumpaggedon #armaggedon #apocalypseanxiety #potuspustule #showerofshame #shitshow2020 #forafascistas #presidentfucksquatch #eatabagofdicks #bagofdicks #eatthem #eatthemtodefeatthem #eattherich #megadethcyberarmy

A post shared by Static (@static_krapsody) on Jun 23, 2020 at 12:39am PDT

Whatever

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Stable Genius

Five Facts About Sphincterology

Holden Caulfield might be the only one who thinks Sphincterology was a phony religion, but the rest of us know better. Holden was the first to admit he's the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life, so it's safe to assume that a lunatic confined in a psychiatric hospital with an unnamed diagnosis would know jack shit about Sphincterology, unless he was a psychiatrically disturbed, drug addicted En Ron Flubbard. Let's make sure that doesn't happen to you. Should you ever encounter any argumentative non-believers amongst you, here are five fast facts to add to your arsenal which will put heathens in their place.

RIP Kenny Loggins

The Grapes of Confusion

| Jan. 08, 2015

If confusion is the door that wisdom comes through then what the hell is this? Just so there's no confusion, prepare to be confused. Continue reading for information that will completely blow your mind, but may ultimately frighten you and send you back to your regular routines. May "Bob" have mercy on your souls. Reader discretion is advised.......................................................................................................................

Go Ahead, Meme Me

| Nov. 20, 2014

"1,478,954,217,389 allegations of rape? Have another pudding pop. Zipzopzubittybop!" - Bill Cosby

(sources: childhood ruined -- *sobs uncontrollably)

Survey Says Ebola Is a Real Thing That Is Just About as Dangerous as Cigarettes

| Oct. 29, 2014

The Ebola virus (or E-bola, the electronic virus that infects computers), an epidemic in West Africa, has spread to computers worldwide, leading the United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team to declare an emergency. The team is working closely with Intel Security to contain the outbreak.

Hangin' with Einstein

Who was Albert Einstein?

Most people know him as the biggest super genius to ever live in this world — even smarter than Stephen Hawking and Al Roker combined.

Albert Einstein (b. 1879 - d. 1955) was a German-American physicist, who won the Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. He was a mathematics professor at the Institute for Advanced Study at Princeton, and a mentor for clowns at Clown University, a private educational institution that was funded by a communist organization.

Ronald McDonald and Ronald Reagan attended and graduated from Clown U and went on to do great things with the knowledge they acquired there.

Sweet Sweet Revenge

If justice and revenge were the only options.

If You Want To Occupy, Occupy This

Occupy Wall Street has been gaining momentum since it was conceptualized, spreading globally to places as far away as Antarctica. Many occupiers have taken to the internet to air their grievances, and social networks like Facebook have provided an accessible place for protesters to gather together and discuss news and other subjects related to their cause. So far there's been a large turnout. However, it hasn't stopped there. The movement to Occupy has made it to the stars, because only the stars are the limit.

CACA Needs Your Support In The Fight Against DWTS

Scientists and entertainers on ABC have JUST gotten out of hand. Their foul plans bring godlessness and corruption to everything they touch. They have defied Gawd's Holy Word and have committed the following abominations against Gawd and Man:

1. made the earth round
2. made monkeys unto our forefathers
3. allowed women to read and write, to have orgasms, and lay with other women

Obscure Moments in Pop Culture History II

The Rapture. Tomorrow. Be there or be square. OR don't...it just means more virgins for me, or whatever we get in Heaven. It's Heaven, after all. I am sure you can practically get just about anything you want there. Fried Twinkies drowned in hot fudge on top of a pepperoni pizza wrapped inside of a beef and bean burrito smothered in green salsa stuffed inside of a rack of barbequed spare ribs doused with maple syrup surrounded by a garnish of chocolate truffles dipped in bullcrap. No? I guess it's just me then.

In any event, to make a long story short, all day I've been hearing about and was subjected to some lengthy reading that revealed to me that tomorrow is Official Judgment Day, and seeings as I am a bit short on repentance - at least I think I am (it gets a bit spotty after I've had a few beers at the end of the day) - apparently, I have some heavy repenting to do, in - oh, I dunno...roughly 2 hours, 35 minutes, and 10 seconds.