Krapsody.com: Institutions of Jocularity

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USA, (Miami, FL) -- Donald J. Trump, American businessman, politician, and former president of the United States has used several pseudonyms, including "John Barron" (or "John Baron"), "John Miller" and "David Dennison", the Secret Service has referred to him as "Mogul", and world leaders such as Kim Jong Un have referred to as "Dotard", was indicted today on 37 counts of accusations that the former US president risked US national security, foreign relations, safety of US military and intelligence gathering by removing hundreds of classified documents from the White House.

Move over Amber Turd, this evening Trump will also be commonly known as Donny the "Phantom Sh*tter", as he is allegedly being held in custody and is facing charges of 14,000 counts of public indecency for defecating in public.

The shitter in question.

When questioned, Trump replied with, "Yes, it was I who shat in or on your desks, your public squares, your lobbies, your foyers, your grocery aisles, your bathroom floors, your closets, your sidewalks, in your beds as you slept, and yes, even in your veggie hamberders." Trump frequently used fecal matter as a way of bringing attention to issues he has felt strong about -- such as the 2020 US presidential elections and illegal immigrants.

One of many shits in question.

Trump, aka the "Phantom Sh*tter", was identified by his trademark signature, "P.S." or "Phantom Sh*tter", always signed at the bottom of every note left behind, scrawled in his own feces either on the wall or floor of the spaces he violated. If convicted, Trump could be facing a sentence of up to 4,800,001 months in jail and a $31.5 trillion dollar fine, or whatever equals the current national debt.

Legalize Comedy

"...unless you're making fun of me..then that's illegal." - Elon Musk

DERPY DARPA

I'm a by-product of plant-eating robots and mechanical elephants. k

5/7 do not recommend.

✓ 8 weird DARPA projects that make science fiction seem like real life.

Totally not creepy, at all. But with a $3.5 billion budget ANNUALLY, anyone can say that unicorns exist.

A Fatal Exception Has Occured

BREAKING: Coronavirus Contagious: If Only Someone Had Warned the President

Whatever

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Stable Genius

Face Sporks

Drain Bamage, Rocky, Drain Bamage

SALTY TODAY

Five Facts About Sphincterology

Holden Caulfield might be the only one who thinks Sphincterology was a phony religion, but the rest of us know better. Holden was the first to admit he's the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life, so it's safe to assume that a lunatic confined in a psychiatric hospital with an unnamed diagnosis would know jack shit about Sphincterology, unless he was a psychiatrically disturbed, drug addicted En Ron Flubbard. Let's make sure that doesn't happen to you. Should you ever encounter any argumentative non-believers amongst you, here are five fast facts to add to your arsenal which will put heathens in their place.

RIP Kenny Loggins

The Grapes of Confusion

| Jan. 08, 2015

If confusion is the door that wisdom comes through then what the hell is this? Just so there's no confusion, prepare to be confused. Continue reading for information that will completely blow your mind, but may ultimately frighten you and send you back to your regular routines. May "Bob" have mercy on your souls. Reader discretion is advised.......................................................................................................................

Survey Says Ebola Is a Real Thing That Is Just About as Dangerous as Cigarettes

| Oct. 29, 2014

The Ebola virus (or E-bola, the electronic virus that infects computers), an epidemic in West Africa, has spread to computers worldwide, leading the United States Computer Emergency Readiness Team to declare an emergency. The team is working closely with Intel Security to contain the outbreak.

Universal Obamacare on the Mend

Tue. Oct. 8, 2013 (Krapsody) - Late this afternoon the switch to turn the government back on has been flipped. Dems have acknowledged that in order to satiate and reward repubs, they had to provide some incentive to reach an agreement over the Obamacare stand-off.

As part of the deal that has been struck, Obama's much lauded death panels have gotten the green light. As per the agreement, Republicans will get to choose one patient each to die in a trade-off between affordable care and the forceful nature of the socialist empire.

If you did not get the memo, the Federation
will not comply with straightforward answers
to your questions about Obamacare.

Most likely the death panels will begin cutting off life support for persons in vegetative states first, and then slowly begin denying expensive treatments to other individuals on the grounds that treatments are "not medically necessary".

Be prepared to see an increase in medical malpractice as inexperienced interns will cause the health care industry to be flooded with complaints and lawsuits.
Hey, the end . . . always justifies the means, people.

Additionally, placebos will be commonplace as well as unlicensed medical procedures will not only be encouraged, they may be necessary in some circumstances as citizens may have to wait months to get an appointment with their physicians inside the government-required health care juggernaut.

Those needing treatments and procedures to improve their health or save their lives can visit their local bookstore and/or visit e-tailers like Amazon to purchase how-to guides.

Examples of the kinds of specialties you could expect to see on store shelves include "The How-To Guide: Home Anesthesiology", "Self-Appendectomy For Idiots", "Semi-healthy Alternatives to Chemotherapy" and "Neurosurgery For Dummies".

Look for Krapsody's own procedural guide: "How to Perform a Vasectomy in 30 Seconds" available on the web for the low low introductory price of $9.95 plus $3 in "just for the fuck of it" fees.

Hangin' with Einstein

Who was Albert Einstein?

Most people know him as the biggest super genius to ever live in this world — even smarter than Stephen Hawking and Al Roker combined.

Albert Einstein (b. 1879 - d. 1955) was a German-American physicist, who won the Nobel Prize for Physics in 1921. He was a mathematics professor at the Institute for Advanced Study at Princeton, and a mentor for clowns at Clown University, a private educational institution that was funded by a communist organization.

Ronald McDonald and Ronald Reagan attended and graduated from Clown U and went on to do great things with the knowledge they acquired there.

9 Students to Save the World: No it's Not a Movie

Wed Feb 27, 2008 6:29 pm
Updated: Sun Jun 2, 2013 2:12 pm

Bovine Colons, Earth (Krapsody) - An article published in Technology News at The Engineer online claimed:

Nine students from the Tech-Israel Institute of Technology have developed a model spacecraft for deflecting objects falling from space. The model has been created in response to the asteroid Apophis which scientists believe will collide with Earth in 2036, and was presented at a competition of NASA and the American Institute of Aeronautics and Astronautics. [Read Full Story]