Everyone Knows an "Annoying Guy"

And now a little piece aptly entitled, "The Last Road Trip"...

Awww, what a friend! Ol Glapp should have ended up in hell.
He's the kind of guy who ate paint chips, glue and lead pencils when he was a kid. Too bad that didn't kill him. He's the kind of guy that spoons sour cottage cheese into shoes at Walmart. The kind of guy that has a big hole in his head, and you wish he'd shut it. The kind of guy you want to thrash into the dashboard, stuff a sock in his mouth, strap with duct tape and put in the trunk for the remainder of the trip.

When you check out, if spent shell casings aren't littered around your feet, you didn't check out right.

The Funny Cannot Be Displayed

I have an announcement to make. Brace yourselves, you may want to sit down. I am experiencing a bout of comedy block. I can't think of anything funny to write.

How is this possible you may ask? It's simple and humiliating really. Similar to writer's block, when the inflicted is encompassed by the loathsome mental impotence that causes comedy block, the brain ceases to generate humorous thoughts.

DUI Test Perfect Score

Comedy, thy name is Reno 911.




Nice moves. I used to be quite the dancer in my day too. Even when drunk, I always managed to find the toes of everyone else on the dance floor and crush them under my enormous stomping feet.

I have to know, what if the cop knows you are drunk but you can pass every test given, do you get a prize? Maybe they give you a free ride to the bar and buy you a few more rounds just to be sure. Then they put you behind the wheel of a car that has not passed safety inspection, like one wheel is bent, the steering is so loose if you touch it just the wrong way the steering wheel pops off and the brakes don't work. The driver flips the car three times and the cops are like, "yep, they're drunk." ?

Bloodthirsty Carpet Monkey

Here's a funny sketch from MTV's Human Giant! Totally random and unexpected. Although I have to wonder who would give a gun to a monkey. Maybe the problem is the chimp doesn't like being called a Carpet Monkey?

Do You Suck At Photoshop?

Donnie Hoyle of MyDamnChannel.com walks us through seven episodes of Photoshop tutorials for those of us that truly suck at it. These tutorials, which are also avail on YouTube, are very handy and offer useful tips with some damned funny commentary to boot.

Anyway I have selected a particular video that just caught my eye on Digg and this was some hilarious shit. I'll give you some background: Donnie's four day hold-up at the airport makes for some heavy duty Photoshop diversion.

Clearly this tutorial showed the inner fat gas that is puffing up inside the beef rod and massages the bloated ego from the fleshy head just like an early season honey dew melon.

Fortunately for me, I am quite the photoshopper. I gots mad skillz yo. Just dig my newest creation I call "What Are You Doing?" Click the image to enlarge...





Ok. I suck, really it's ok. I'll try for something better next time...