It's a redneck's wet dream y'all! DERP!!
The guy giving hand signals must have shit himself somethin' fierce. I can just imagine the driver and the Hand Signal Guy giving each other looks while they are airborne...
Driver: "What do I do, Haws?"
Hand Signal Guy: "Bail, goddammit!"
If the Hand Signal Guy had just worn a sockpuppet on his hand then this accident might have been prevented... (Read more >>>>>)
In this hilarious parody Goldman Sachs CEO and Chairman Lloyd Blankfein joins the Occupy Wall Street movement and surprisingly he doesn't get pepper sprayed.
Some highlights:
* 0:37 Sifting through his wallet, not-Blankenfein exclaims, "I plan to stay down here for as long as I can with what I have on me. Let's see, that's two hundred...three hundred...four hundred thousand dollars. That should last, what? About a week?"
* 1:12 "I've done a lot of terrible things, but I've never hunted a homeless man for sport. Can Richard Branson say that?"
* 1:41 "Goldman Sachs is not Satan, but we do manage the majority of his offshore assets."
with
Krapsody.com Reporter Dubious Monk
Inside Tropical Storm Irene
NEWSFLASH! Everything in New England shut down as Irene was downgraded from a hurricane to a tropical storm. As the storm was overhead, I scurried down to the hurricane barriers in Providence, RI to catch the action but there was none to be found.
Bin Laden...dead? Just for the record, this is not exclusive footage, nor is it a dramatic reenactment. At best, it is a cheap sloppy imitation, or whimsical imagining. Good day.
The TSA would like to take a moment to put holiday traveler's concerns at ease about being forced to choose between allowing a TSA agent to see them naked, or to have their genitals touched and squeezed as part of what the TSA terms "enhanced pat-downs." Remember, the TSA considers your safety and the images produced by Advanced Imaging Technology to be "family friendly."
Tue Oct 05, 2010 7:19 pm ET
Somewhere in Orbit (Krapsody) - At risk of sounding like a total nerd, I'm a bit excited. A new planet was discovered. It might be a place that only a lichen or pond scum could love, but astronomers believe that they've found it capable of harboring water on its surface potentially making it a home for plant or animal life.
Nobody from Earth will be visiting anytime soon: The planet, called Gliese 581g, is orbiting a star about 20 light-years away in the constellation Libra.
But if the finding is confirmed by other brainiacs, the planet, which is three to four times the mass of Earth, would be the most Earthlike planet yet discovered, and the first to meet the criteria for being potentially habitable. Which is a lot more than I can say for Detroit.
The last movie I reviewed, that's an epic. It's just dandy. Now, I want you to make two carbon copies of it and throw the original away. And when you get through with that, throw the carbon copies away. Just read on for more disposable entertainment.
If you've seen Rob Zombie's House of 1,000 Corpses then you've probably seen the sequel, Devil's Rejects. But if you haven't, then you're missing out on some fine family entertainment.
It doesn't really warrant a plot summary. But it does deserve some explanation. It's possibly one of the most indulgent horror movies you'll ever see. Over-the-top comedy and depravity at it's finest.
Nothing's better than an entire family of serial killers than a movie about an entire family of serial killers to get you in the mood for Halloween. And this by far has to be the best clip from that movie.
No. no. no..got it all wrong. The poor bastard just wanted some fried chicken, not to be ridiculed for the preparation and secret ingredient. It's CHICKEN PLUCKER. Not CHICKEN FUCKER. It's an auditory anomaly. Your ears are playing tricks on you.
Harland Sanders, a prominent chicken-fucker who heads a watchdog group that monitors the portrayal of chicken-fuckers in the media, is "not at all amused" by this clip, which gives you even more reason to see both of these celluloid offenses.
"Chicken-fuckers have feelings, too," he says. Mr. Sanders asserts that the explosion of chicken-fucking jokes on late-night TV and on the Internet are "insensitive and hurtful."
"Once again, we chicken-fuckers are being stereotyped and belittled," he said. "We need to get the message out that the act of love between a man and a chicken, when consensual, is a beautiful thing."
Sooo...keep pluckin' those chickens and rent, borrow, or steal Devil's Rejects.
Halloween Countdown
I’ve read Bram Stoker's Dracula before, but it has been probably ten or fifteen years so I don’t remember it in it's entirety.
I do remember my reaction was like "HELL TO THE YEAH!" NOT disappointed due to the fact he’s not quite the sophisticated pop culture pansy-ass Dracula we all know and love so much. He was more of a real monster. That's what a vampire should be.
But now, post-Twilight, I’m EVEN more on board with the monster thing. I like my vampires to be more menacing, less sparkly...certainly less like a wussy than Warhol's Dracula AND just as gory.
I am referring to Blood For Dracula, 94 minutes of pure shit.
But it's the best campy art film pile of shit you'll ever feast your eyes upon. I can only assume that Warhol meant for it to be a cheesy satire splattered with buckets of blood. That's why I have a love-hate relationship with this movie.
What footage doesn't bore you to death, kills you with laughter. The first hour which doesn't seem shocking at first, finally comes through and could stimulate the autonomic nervous system of even the most catatonic of vegetables. The last half-hour or so of this film surely would have euthanized Terri Schiavo and made Charles Manson shit his pants. Now, despite everything I've said, one thing's for sure, Blood For Dracula is still a pretty interesting film, just on the principles that it is so different then what you would expect from a typical Dracula movie. 
Gone is the suave vampire that seduces his prey. Here we have a very sickly vampire who relies on his servant for survival; he whines a lot; can only drink the blood of virgins lest he become violently ill, which he does quite often...it appears that virgins are not that easy to come by.
Well no shit, Dumb-ula!
Not only does virgin blood taste better, but it contains all the healthy vitamins and nutrients a thirsty vampire needs...but virgins are scarce these days, thank GAWD. Sluts are/should be just as nutritious as their puritan opposites.
The one thing that saves this film from me giving it a total S&P Steamer rating is the gore. Vomiting blood, mutilation, severing of limbs, and graphic sex scenes all gave the original uncut film an X-rating in 1974.
As stiff as the acting is at times, Udo Kier does a great job in this role. He's believable as a pathetic blood-sucking creature of the night.
Kier vaguely reminds you of Frankenstein's Igor, but he's a blood-soaked bat fuck insane Igor that makes Edward Cullen look like a choir boy dressed up like Little Boy Blue, and makes Nosferatu look like Colonel Klink wearing rubber Spock ears and candy corn fangs.
Kier generally plays a hard-ass in most of his roles and he could have certainly pulled that off in this flick, but he's so much better like this:
LINK
LINK
LINK
and the best line from any movie in the history of film EVAR is
LINK
Rent it today. You won't be totally disappointed.
Halloween Countdown
With Halloween right around the corner, it begs the question, do insomniac zombies count dead sheep?
Nope, but they do like turtles!
"I Saw Her Again Last Night," the famous song by the Mamas and the Papas. Bet you didn't know the real meaning behind it...did ya? And you thought news of the weird couldn't get any MORE weird.
note: No animals, persons, or piles of vomit were harmed in the making of this article and video. However as always - Viewer Discretion is Advised.
Yes, dear readers Mackenzie Phillips recently admitted to being raped and then engaging in an incestuous relationship with her father, Mamas and the Papas founder, John Phillips, for TEN years...starting at the age of 19.
If you're unfamiliar with Mackenzie Phillips, she co-starred on the television show One Day At A Time alongside Valerie Bertinelli.
Mackenzie revealed the bombshell on what else, but The Oprah Winfrey Show (the place to make such revelations naturally,) the news coincides with the release of her book, High On Arrival.
So the question remains, is it true, or is it some kind of marketing stunt?
Or is she mistaken...and it's some kind of marketing stunt?
Either way, there appears to be some skeletons in her closet. And it's a brilliant marketing stunt. If her statement and recollection of the event(s) are true, I find it to be the most disgusting and horrible thing I've ever heard...other than hearing that there was a heartfelt tribute to Dirty Dancing on Dancing With The Stars last Wednesday.
Your place or mine? Shame on John Phillips. Raping your own daughter? When she's passed out?
That's only something I would have expected creepy pedophile apartment maintenance guy, Schneider, to be capable of doing..after getting both girls drunk and slipping them GHB.
In High On Arrival, Mackenzie discloses that her dad John Phillips drugged and raped her on the eve of her wedding to Jeff Sessler. At the time, Sessler was a member of the Rolling Stones’ entourage. John Phillips passed away in 2001.
Mackenzie said John and herself were pumped full of drugs when she woke up to realize her father was pumping her. And if THAT isn't BAD ENOUGH, according to Mackenzie..she became a willing partner in the incestuous relationship much later.
Um...EW? HORRIFYING!
Additionally, Mackenzie Phillips has had a long history with drug abuse.
Papa Phillips shot the girl up for her first time. And she states she first tried cocaine when she was 11.
Another creepy old pervert, Mick Jagger, once had a close encounter with Phillips when she was 18. Jagger went into her room and locked the door. Jagger told her he had been waiting for that moment since she was 10 years old!
Mick stripped off his skin tight cat suit, bent over, and with lips so big he can play a tuba..from either end..demanded she snort cocaine off his taint, and mount him just like David Bowie did back in the day.
It's all true.
Also, this bombshell comes after Phillips was charged with two felonies last year on August 27, 2008 stemming from her arrest at LAX while on her way to a sitcom reunion in New York. Several baggies of cocaine and heroin fell out of her pants while going through airport security.
She was charged with one count of felony possession of cocaine and another for possession of heroin. The DA tacked on a misdemeanor charge of unauthorized possession of a hypodermic needle or syringe...just for kicks. I hope she has fully kicked the habit and gets some much needed therapy.
Upon hearing about her frightfully sick relationship with her father, this was my reaction...
video link for those who have flash disabled:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VKac8r794OY
If I may be candid, after hearing about this twisted story...even after seeing The Exorcist as a kid and being scared shitless with all the gross vomit scenes in that flick...I don't like bringing this up...but, I now suffer from emetophobia.
Yes, an EMT with emetophobia (not scatophobia, or even worse, hemophobia...but emetophobia..and now I'm also experiencing bouts of Phillipsophobia - the abnormal and/or irrational fear of hearing about incestuous relationships within the Phillips and other celebrity families.)
It's going to take years of therapy for me to get over this. I think I'm gonna sue.
Wanna know why I have emetophobia? What's soft and warm when you go to bed but hard and stiff when you get up? VOMIT.
Any questions?!
"In the name of Hippocrates, doctors have invented the most exquisite form of torture ever known to man: survival."
- Luis Buñuel
(Spanish Film Director, 1900-1983)
Ever heard of waterboarding? Let's just say it's not an aquatic sport such as surfing.
Anyone familiar with the Cartoon Network - Adult Swim animation series Robot Chicken knows how great and goddamn funny the sketch comedy is. There was a clip I came across while browsing on YouTube, that addresses the Five Stages of Grief, ironically..considering my recent loss, it was quite apropo.
Man!...death...I mean Seth Green is amusing! Good grief, Charlie Brown. Watch the vid...
Really, there's nothing all that "knee-slapping" funny about death or dying. Actually, in retrospect once you're past the shock of the experience, just about anything can have an element of humor.
Why just the other day I was attacked by a mob of clinically depressed circus clown retirees upset over my lame 'anti-anti-comedy manifesto'. They tasered me, shredded my hand in a blender, and poured battery acid all over my genitals. And looking back now..it was HILARIOUS!
Be warned! This is not for the faint of heart, or those easily grossed out by sketch comedy.
Clip from: The Jimmy Kimmel Show
The miracle of birth always amazes me.
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