Introducing: FRUITSHIGI!

You are about to be mesmerized, it's here, it's wild and it's sweeping the nation. It's FRUITSHIGI – The magic gravity fruit! No strings, no tricks. Is it magic?… Maybe. Is it illusion?…YOU decide! You can make FRUITSHIGI defy gravity and fall in midair with maneuvers like prayer cross, levitation, palm-spin, The body roll, and so many more!! It confuses the senses (and Isaac Newton) with its mind blowing movements! Young or old, big or small anyone can FRUITSHIGI the minute they pickup the magic gravity fruit and with practice you can conquer the FRUITSHIGI! Everyone loves FRUITSHIGI and you don’t have to be a magician. It's relaxing and even therapeutic. Best of all it's just amazing!!!

Thought For The Day: Mom's In Demand

It's been a while between articles, but I'm never gone for long. The internet has a better chance of getting rid of me once Hell freezes over, and considering climate changes and global warming that will happen NEVER. And so lately I've been awful busy making cheese and selling door knobs, and in this economy it's just that much more difficult to sell door knobs made of cheese.

Get Yourself Some Baggies!

Procrasturbating? I know I am.
With spring right around the corner I think many of us have the spring fever, and that's the causation of procrasturbation.

So fap away freaks.

Here's a random funny video to stroke your funny boner to. It's right up there with Picnic Face and their hilarious commercial spoof "Harness the Power of 400 Babies"!

Who Else Wants a Ginormous Spoon?

I was looking around YouTube the other day when I re-discovered an animation I had forgotten about. It's called 'Rejected' by Don Hertzfeldt. Hertzfeldt's films often feature hand-drawn stick figures acting out combinations of slapstick, absurd, and black humor along with heavier existential themes. Animation is an art form that can never be replaced by seemingly well-made but artistically-shallow CG blockbusters.

Get out your bowl of cereal and grab a spoon bigger than your head. This is fun-nuh!

The film is fictional, premiering at the San Diego Comic Convention in 2000 it went on to be nominated for an Academy Award® in 2001. Hertzfeldt has never done any commercial work, after receiving many offers to do television commercials he always wished he could just make a cheap, nonsensical commercial to give to any company intending to hire him, make off with their money, and see if the terrible cartoons would actually make it to air. Only of course his work would be rejected as he hypothetically depicts in the short film.

What also makes Hertzfeldt unique is that since 1999 he photographs all his films on an antique 35mm Richardson animation camera stand, believed to be the same camera that photographed many of the early Peanuts cartoons in the 1960's and 70's. It's reportedly one of the last remaining functioning cameras of its kind left in America (if not the world), and Hertzfeldt finds it to be a crucial element in the creation of his films and their unique visuals. His early films have been credited as being a prominent influence on surrealism, absurdism, and "random humor" in animation since 2000, particularly influencing Adult Swim style animated comedy.

Hertzfeldt is one of few independent filmmakers who could be considered a true auteur. He usually single-handedly writes, directs, produces, animates, photographs, edits, records and mixes sound, and/or composes music for his films, at times requiring years to complete a single short. The animation alone for one of his films may often require tens of thousands of drawings. Hertzfeldt has never held any job other than working on his own animated films, nor has he accepted "real" commercial work and has stated numerous times on his website and in public appearances that he never will, as he feels they are "lies" and does not want to lie to his audience.

Hertzfeldt's films are regularly found in film festivals around the world winning awards, as well as an Oscar® nomination. Hertzfeldt prefers to not sell any of his original or production artwork. Instead, through his production company Bitter Films in the late 90's and early 00's, he annually auctioned pieces off online to raise thousands of dollars for local Santa Barbara charities. Other original artwork has been occasionally given away through the Bitter Films online store through special promotions. Because Hertzfeldt also rarely does signings, his artwork is very rare for animation collectors or casual fans to own.

You can discover more about Don_Hertzfeldt and his work at; http://www.bitterfilms.com/

Harness the Power of 400 Babies!

"Frickin' Picnicface just cranks out the goods" - Will Ferrell

"When God Gives You Lemons, You Find A New God" - Picnicface

Visit Picnicface: A Halifax-Based Sketch Comedy Ensemble

Gymnast Routine with a Surprise

A gymnast goes about her routine until....


Funny videos

What is Gorilla Marketing?

In 2005 Gorilla Marketing was developed. Gorilla Marketing (or 'Gorilla Warfare') was invented by Che Guevara (a.k.a. "Chimp" Guevara), the world's foremost expert on all things related to Gorillas and Cuba.

Gorilla Marketing is a relatively new arsenal of advertising weaponry, and promotional products that humans go APE over! It combines an unconventional system of promotions on a very low budget. Or no budget really, gorillas come cheap.

By relying on gorilla time, gorilla energy, and gorilla imagination instead of big marketing budgets that were common in the ancient history of advertising; the end result is usually a lot of poo flinging, tire swinging, Samsonite luggage tossing and banana beatings, until the assailed individual(s) buy(s) the marketed product(s).

Sss! That's the sound a gorilla fart makes (another tactic commonly used.)




A frightening proposition since this gorilla likes teh butt secks.

Bloodthirsty Carpet Monkey

Here's a funny sketch from MTV's Human Giant! Totally random and unexpected. Although I have to wonder who would give a gun to a monkey. Maybe the problem is the chimp doesn't like being called a Carpet Monkey?

Top 5 Reasons I Hate Captcha Verification

Another personal rant that couldn’t be avoided. Image Verification. I hate them to the very core. And they just seem to be everywhere around - Digg, Blogs, Websites, Forums, Registering, etc, etc.

1. Today’s captcha’s appear quite distorted and it takes time for people to really understand what’s written there. They are extremely hard to read (even for a person with nArOml eyesight ffs) and you may have to twist your eyes in all directions to really guess what it is. And, the chances are that in your hurry you may mistake one letter and will be forced to waste more fricken time. Is that squiggly/slashy/blobby thing a letter? A number? Is it a penis? What the fuck is that?! Whoever invented captcha is an asshat!

2. Image verifications are a complete waste of time, 100% waste! How many seconds do we waste trying to not only figure out wtf the captcha image is, unless it's legible you're still wasting seconds of your life that add up and could ultimately be used to multitask elsewhere. Like organizing your vast personal collection of bodily fluids in test tubes - by adding a ladle of fresh mucous to them right now.

3. You. Have. To. Do. It. Every. Freaking. Single. Time. You. Log. In!

4. 90% of the browsers being used support JS for now until users disable it - IE, Fx, Opera, Maxthon, Avant. If you have a script blocker it makes even that much more annoying.

5. More and more bloggers and websites are using this system to protect them from SPAM, and I can’t blame them. Thanks to dickhead spammers and the advent of the spambot, the rules of the internet had to change to try to curb the net clogging jibber jabber these fuck-knuckles spearheaded hand over fist. It can cut down on the spamming a bit. BUT NOT 100%. It also makes users hump through hoops to post legitimate comments on your site. That’s a bad thing. The only thing that ensures really is it's guaranteed to drive away alot of users!

Speaking of jibber jabber... I think Mr. T sums it up. FOOL!




Take heed spammers and for the love of the internet gawds simply...

QVC, Dell and some guy in Dover

Funny vid of this guy who calls QVC about how he loves his Dell computer and why.

Classic quote of the century, "Dell is great for downloading porn."
Randy in Dover, Delaware on his Dell. Downloading porn. Definitely depraved.

The Fifth Element = Blonde Bimbo Lesson

Bimbo (def) per Urban Dictionary:
A girl who is not so bright, wears lots of make up and is obsessed with boys, shopping and clothes. Generally blonde but there are exceptions.
You can spot them because they will be the big group of girls that all look the same and are giggling hysterically.
Woman who is not attractive enough to be a model, not intelligent enough to be an actress, and not nice enough to be a poisonous snake.
A bread brand that has been discovered on holiday in spain...can also be found in south america.

What can we learn from a bimbo?

Watch the outtakes around 3:40, it speaks volumes.



A totally unrelated topic:
I wonder what the meaning behind the word "jactitation" is?

Truth be known, I might have been a straight 'A' student if I had more teachers like her... nah! I wouldn't have gotten any work done. I would have been in a constant state of jactitation.

Video Dating Service

This is possibly the best dating video... ever.

What woman wouldn't want to date that guy? ..........anyone?

WARNING - NEW SCAM

Watch out for this scam. Police are urging visitors to the city center

to be especially vigilant for a new gang operating a slick routine that

is aimed at stealing from unwary persons. They say that the gang usually

comprises four members, one adult and three younger ones.

While the three younger ones, all appearing sweet and innocent, divert

their "mark" (or "intended target") with a show of friendliness and fun,

the fourth -- the eldest -- sneaks in from behind the person's back to

expertly rifle undetected through his or her pockets and/or purses or

bags for any valuables being carried.

The attached picture taken is from CCTV operating in the inner city

shows the gang in operation.

Aflac!

Worst Job Ever

Discrimi-Nav

The navigation system for the discriminating driver in you!

Slice 'n Dice Balls!

Watch this guy use this amazing blender, it cuts through anything!
He puts in a broom/rake handle, a baseball bat, a neighborhood poodle, an elephant, AND some golf balls for the capper, I think he lost his left arm & leg in a recent broadcast of his infomercial....