Krapsody.com

Net Neutrality or Net Reality?

As supporters of net neutrality come up with new and improved ways to spread the word that includes everything from the net neutrality bill, the usual propaganda, petitions, guerilla marketing attempts and some other inventive ideas that simply verge on the absurd. Oh yes. Always be prepared for that.

Tania Derveaux is a prime example of the absurd step netizens have taken to save the internet. I'm only telling you because I care.

Tania professes on her web page, Don't Stay a Virgin;

I will make love with every virgin who defends the Internet.

The question is... How many virgins are on the internet? And how would one prove that any ordinary male is a virgin? Is there a litmus test for that? Is this a prank?
I'm sure there are plenty of horn-dogs just waiting to save the internet now. They are lined up around the block 100 times over!

horny nerd

"Skype me if you're horny."

horny nerd too

This one's horny too.

Miss Derveaux’s way of limiting those queuing up to bonk her to a manageable number will definitely FAIL. And she knows it. She highly underestimates the number of virgins found on the net... or maybe she doesn't. This is a complete dichotomy.

No male can prove his virginity, not even if he meets the stereotype of a virgin and is a premature ejaculator or clumsy in bed, because 90% of men probably meet that criteria.

However, Miss Derveaux is obviously business savvy and a master manipulator. Getting hundreds if not thousands of pitiful men to sign up for the cause of net neutrality just so they may have a glimpse of Miss Derveaux's creamy thighs definitely works to her advantage and possibly ours as well...

The Japing Ape has a quaint story about her lurid technique to garner attention for the cause.

Well Tania's idea is all fine and good. I would like to point out if you are going to support net neutrality simply for sexual expression, the object of desire is more often than not pure eye candy, but in supporting the cause then be prepared to see just as much of the opposite too.

net reality

Be sure to get tested for a long list of STDs, Miss Derveaux.
This means you too, pervert. =)

Caption This Little Piece of Gorillasushi

My digital friend and fellow-blogger, Jason over at GorillaSushi.com hosted a Carnival of Captions on 5-29-08. Unfortunately, I was churning butter that day, so I missed out. But as I always say it's better to be fashionably late than never show up.

Claire at A Little Piece of Me participated and had a photo that just I couldn't resist captioning.

"Clearing a llama's nasal passages requires ALOT of sucking."

You can submit your own captioned photos to BlogCarnival.com, the submission deadline for the next upcoming contest is Jun 4, 2008 at 11pm.

I already have one in mind I am going to submit, as usual I pulled this one out of my ass. Now caption it!

extreme skiing gone awry

Semiotic Retardology

Lost critter.
lost cat

Seeing the dentist in a foreign country means getting screwed.
international dentistry

Imagine the pain.

Seriously... Imagine the pain.
cardio dick boxing

Everyone wants a 0% off sale.

Nice. If you're into that. Just don't call him Shirley.
Strange Ad

Just kidding. Sorry about your total loss!
Just kidding sign

Hmm, and all this time I thought these people were ACTUALLY homeless.
Work 4 food ad

Can't talk to a psycho like a normal human being.
Very funny sign

A collection of really bad ads. What were they thinking?

Interesting concept, funny what fish are lured in by,
but I wouldn't buy any bait here if I were you.
lol sign

Click on and enlarge this ad,
have a look on the right side of the page for the sale on pineapples.

Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!

Savorless Flavor of Reality World

Are you a reality t.v. fan? You might have missed the reunion episode of 'Flavor of Love 3' wherein Flavor Flav kicks the winner, Thing 2 (great nickname) to the curb, and proposes to the mother of his SEVENTH child. Oh, nah he din't. Oh, yes he did, girlfriend! See fo' yo-selfs!

I think I just vomited a little. I'm surprised someone hasn't been shot on any reality t.v. shows yet. Because in my opinion that's the way it appears reality t.v. is headed. You know some of these "contestants" one day are going to get so pissed off that might actually happen. Sorry to say, but I'm not a fan of reality t.v., I think it's the downfall of humanity and the continuing decline of modern civilization.

It's bad enough "reality t.v." puts dysfunction, stupidity and ignorance in the limelight. And although it's good for some laughs on occasion, as far as how worse off your life could be. The scary thing to me is, people who watch these, mostly teens who need more appropriate role models as they develop important social skills to prepare them for real life, there are also some adults who think shows like this are a model for real life and watch every episode they can. Their brains soaking up the televised miasma of modern soap operas, infecting their minds with the disease of reality t.v. for the sake of mind-numbing entertainment.

These shows aren't anywhere close to being an actual model for reality. When was the last time your reality looked like the latest "reality" t.v. series?

What would make reality t.v. REAL?! Let's see, perhaps a bunch of homeless people getting rolled by the police in L.A., or a family torn apart by infidelity, maybe follow the life of an average ordinary citizen who does nothing particularly interesting in their day to day activities, a janitor scrubbing toilets or a housewife who has to pick up after her lazy household? Maybe an entire series made of surveillance camera clips?

Many civilizations throughout history ended up destroying themselves with pure unadulterated hedonism. Looks like we are nearing the pinnacle again. I hate to think when we are all gone and distant future generations are doing archaeological digs they might accidentally discover our reality t.v. shows.

Now before you say "Static, don't be hatin'!" think about this...

Take a television show based on a bunch of ignorant people that have TONS of baggage, a predisposition towards dysfunctional behavior often including violence. Mix in several parts alcohol, immaturity, sexual innuendo, and silly contests. Then pit all these people against one another by forcing them to share the same home and "love interest" and see who beats whom (literally sometimes), all in the proposed setting that these persons are competing for the "love" (money, free ride on the coattails of fame) of one washed-up celebrity on a cable television network. Doesn't that seem just a little sick to you? I certainly don't pay my cable bill to watch this shit. But apparently lots of people do, just so they can see Jerry Springer rejects dry hump a fire hydrant like a dog in heat and beat each other into bloody pulps instead of getting therapy. Essentially coming across as a society of mindless chimps flinging poo and engaging in other primitive behaviors. Is that how we really want to be remembered?

bret michaels reality

As for Flavor, he basically had three shows that gave him 60+ chances more than he would have normally had at getting laid, likely propagating several more illegitimate children in the process and getting his name out there again before he popped the question to a mother of one of his many children. Seven kids man? The guy seems like he has the mental development of a 12-year-old child. My prediction is; in six months a new series - 'Flavor of Love 4'.

Flav's yo daddy