Please quit leaving your discarded prophylactics lying around for others to see, or possibly have to pickup. It was basically lying in the street, but still. You are disgusting. Did you drop it there because you wanted to leave behind some kind of proof of your conquest? That's an odd thing to do unless you meant it as a message for someone. If I am that someone, well then, I am not sure I understand the message.
You are about to be mesmerized, it's here, it's wild and it's sweeping the nation. It's FRUITSHIGI – The magic gravity fruit! No strings, no tricks. Is it magic?… Maybe. Is it illusion?…YOU decide! You can make FRUITSHIGI defy gravity and fall in midair with maneuvers like prayer cross, levitation, palm-spin, The body roll, and so many more!! It confuses the senses (and Isaac Newton) with its mind blowing movements! Young or old, big or small anyone can FRUITSHIGI the minute they pickup the magic gravity fruit and with practice you can conquer the FRUITSHIGI! Everyone loves FRUITSHIGI and you don’t have to be a magician. It's relaxing and even therapeutic. Best of all it's just amazing!!!
Did you catch the Oscars Sunday night? Wait..wait..wait. Better question: did you enjoy them? Between Ben Stiller's awful Avatar spoof, and those horribly tedious - "I'd like to thank the Academy" and "I'd like to thank Gawd" acceptance speeches, I think I've found the cure for Oscar night blues, and it ain't more cowbell.
The last movie I reviewed, that's an epic. It's just dandy. Now, I want you to make two carbon copies of it and throw the original away. And when you get through with that, throw the carbon copies away. Just read on for more disposable entertainment.
If you've seen Rob Zombie's House of 1,000 Corpses then you've probably seen the sequel, Devil's Rejects. But if you haven't, then you're missing out on some fine family entertainment.
It doesn't really warrant a plot summary. But it does deserve some explanation. It's possibly one of the most indulgent horror movies you'll ever see. Over-the-top comedy and depravity at it's finest.
Nothing's better than an entire family of serial killers than a movie about an entire family of serial killers to get you in the mood for Halloween. And this by far has to be the best clip from that movie.
No. no. no..got it all wrong. The poor bastard just wanted some fried chicken, not to be ridiculed for the preparation and secret ingredient. It's CHICKEN PLUCKER. Not CHICKEN FUCKER. It's an auditory anomaly. Your ears are playing tricks on you.
Harland Sanders, a prominent chicken-fucker who heads a watchdog group that monitors the portrayal of chicken-fuckers in the media, is "not at all amused" by this clip, which gives you even more reason to see both of these celluloid offenses.
"Chicken-fuckers have feelings, too," he says. Mr. Sanders asserts that the explosion of chicken-fucking jokes on late-night TV and on the Internet are "insensitive and hurtful."
"Once again, we chicken-fuckers are being stereotyped and belittled," he said. "We need to get the message out that the act of love between a man and a chicken, when consensual, is a beautiful thing."
Sooo...keep pluckin' those chickens and rent, borrow, or steal Devil's Rejects.
Halloween Countdown
I’ve read Bram Stoker's Dracula before, but it has been probably ten or fifteen years so I don’t remember it in it's entirety.
I do remember my reaction was like "HELL TO THE YEAH!" NOT disappointed due to the fact he’s not quite the sophisticated pop culture pansy-ass Dracula we all know and love so much. He was more of a real monster. That's what a vampire should be.
But now, post-Twilight, I’m EVEN more on board with the monster thing. I like my vampires to be more menacing, less sparkly...certainly less like a wussy than Warhol's Dracula AND just as gory.
I am referring to Blood For Dracula, 94 minutes of pure shit.
But it's the best campy art film pile of shit you'll ever feast your eyes upon. I can only assume that Warhol meant for it to be a cheesy satire splattered with buckets of blood. That's why I have a love-hate relationship with this movie.
What footage doesn't bore you to death, kills you with laughter. The first hour which doesn't seem shocking at first, finally comes through and could stimulate the autonomic nervous system of even the most catatonic of vegetables. The last half-hour or so of this film surely would have euthanized Terri Schiavo and made Charles Manson shit his pants. Now, despite everything I've said, one thing's for sure, Blood For Dracula is still a pretty interesting film, just on the principles that it is so different then what you would expect from a typical Dracula movie. 
Gone is the suave vampire that seduces his prey. Here we have a very sickly vampire who relies on his servant for survival; he whines a lot; can only drink the blood of virgins lest he become violently ill, which he does quite often...it appears that virgins are not that easy to come by.
Well no shit, Dumb-ula!
Not only does virgin blood taste better, but it contains all the healthy vitamins and nutrients a thirsty vampire needs...but virgins are scarce these days, thank GAWD. Sluts are/should be just as nutritious as their puritan opposites.
The one thing that saves this film from me giving it a total S&P Steamer rating is the gore. Vomiting blood, mutilation, severing of limbs, and graphic sex scenes all gave the original uncut film an X-rating in 1974.
As stiff as the acting is at times, Udo Kier does a great job in this role. He's believable as a pathetic blood-sucking creature of the night.
Kier vaguely reminds you of Frankenstein's Igor, but he's a blood-soaked bat fuck insane Igor that makes Edward Cullen look like a choir boy dressed up like Little Boy Blue, and makes Nosferatu look like Colonel Klink wearing rubber Spock ears and candy corn fangs.
Kier generally plays a hard-ass in most of his roles and he could have certainly pulled that off in this flick, but he's so much better like this:
LINK
LINK
LINK
and the best line from any movie in the history of film EVAR is
LINK
Rent it today. You won't be totally disappointed.
Halloween Countdown
With Halloween right around the corner, it begs the question, do insomniac zombies count dead sheep?
Nope, but they do like turtles!
Somehow I found myself in the middle of a war on the internet. I'm not quite sure how it happened as I was pleasantly minding my own business. It was a day like any other, only it was the kind of day where the birds were swimming in the ocean and the fish were flying in the sky. So I knew something was amiss.
Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!
One of the more humorous things I find in life is people who claim to be "in the know" of things. Nothing says pretentious more than someone who acts like an expert on any given subject, especially on the internet.
It's not only pretentious. It's annoying. Anyone with a computer can incessantly ramble on about their beliefs and publish it nowadays (just look at me).
There are plenty of reasons why someone could be considered a professional in their field. But when that field is so unfounded and mysterious such as the paranormal or metaphysical - whether science may offer an explanation or not - is ridiculous.
Extraordinary claims! Astounding insights! I wanna see some ectoplasmic vomit then I'll truly believe.
Take for example this bloggers description of the sixth dimension.
Now, I'm sure there likely is a series of dimensions beyond our human comprehension and understanding. That being said, I don't think anyone's claims could be necessarily be construed for fact or truth. The mysterious universe is probably just that and to think that we might have all the answers is ludicrous.
I'm not saying that I don't believe that these things are possible. Our thoughts have a way of manifesting themselves into our physical realm. For instance, great inventions like electricity, the automobile, and cheese would not have been possible if someone hadn't thought to themselves, 'Why that's a great idea!'
The main point here is think it, believe it and it will happen. Maybe.
Everyone of course is entitled to their own brand of bigotry. We're all bigots to some extent about something. Regardless if that's right or if we agree with that or not.
So just because the religious norm in western culture and the mainstream beliefs of it's adherents may have effed up some of our fragile little psyches concerning new age or other mystical spiritual beliefs doesn't mean every person that has religious or spiritual beliefs (or horrors) and publicly expresses them has a screw loose.
But I tend to think anyone who makes claims that they found the truth through pure speculation just might be a total wingnut...especially if they are wearing tinfoil on their heads.
Who knows, maybe there is a millionth dimension and our spiritual doubles carry on in everyday life similar to our own, and they believe in Pastafarianism and the Flying Spaghetti Monster?
In closing, the slogan for the sixth dimension should be:
The sixth dimension.
It's cooler than the third dimension. Yeah!
It's like... the third dimension, only different.
It's the third dimension squared!
Talk about a mindfuck, huh?
Another dramatic episode in the Spears vs. Federline custody debacle.
It's another great start to a new year as it appears Britney has finally hit rock bottom, Britney Spears was placed on lockdown for a mental evaluation Friday after the pop star locked herself in a room with one of her children at her L.A. home and refused to hand him over to ex-husband Kevin Federline.
Police cars, ambulances and firetrucks with sirens blazing, helicopters hovering above — it was a scene straight out of a Hollywood blockbuster Thursday night as Britney Spears and her infant hid from the authorities inside her Beverly Hills home.
"It looked like a hostage situation," one witness was quoted at the time.
So how did this all happen? Let's retrace her steps!
11:32 a.m.: Britney, in a bright fuschia halter dress and heels, arrives over 90 minutes late to her final chance to give a court-ordered deposition in her custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline. She is only able to be deposed for approximately 14 minutes.
12:20 p.m.: Brit arrives back home at her gated community, The Summit. Her sons are there for their scheduled visit, as is a court-appointed monitor.
7 p.m.: K-Fed's security team arrives to pick up boys Sean Preston and Jayden James and bring them back to their father's house. When there is a delay in releasing the boys, Britney's assistant, Carla, makes excuses for the pop star. However, it soon becomes clear that there is a problem.
At some point, 2-year-old Sean Preston is removed from the house, leaving only little Jayden inside with his mother.
8 p.m.: The police are notified of a custodial situation at Britney's house and officers are dispatched to The Summit. But when they arrive, they find that the court-appointed monitor, who has been locked out of the house, is not in possession of the paperwork required to allow them to enter Britney's house.
9:20 p.m.: K-Fed's lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan arrives at The Summit with the required paperwork. He and five police cars enter the gated community and drive up to Britney's house.
10:30 p.m.: More than a dozen police officers, as well as two ambulances and a handful of fire rescue trucks are now on the scene. Sometime before 11 p.m., Britney's cousin Alli and Brit's assistant Carla leave the house, leaving Brit alone with Jayden James.
11:45 p.m.: Britney is taken out of her home strapped to a gurney and placed into an ambulance, which is escorted by 13 police cars with sirens blaring to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, arriving at approximately 12:30 a.m. Jayden is brought to the hospital in a separate vehicle.
"We are concerned about her mental state and believe she may be under the influence," an LAPD officer revealed to the press at the time of Brit's arrival at Cedars-Sinai.
Britney, who had been sobbing when taken from her home, appeared distant and erratic as she was escorted out of the ambulance and into the hospital. "Her eyes were like pinholes, and she was strapped to the gurney," another witness recalled.
Already waiting at the hospital's emergency room is K-Fed and his lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan obviously in shock not sure as to what had transpired and lead up to this.
Sources have stated that Britney takes prescription medication to treat a bipolar disorder. This source who was a companion explains that if the singer misses her hourly dosage of medication the result is severe anxiety.
Our source presumes that Thursday’s hectic schedule and at least one missed dosage may have contributed to that night’s occurrence.
Life & Style is reporting that early police reports about Britney being under the influence when being taken to Cedars Sinai are false - all tests came back negative!
“Her blood test just came back, and, thank God, it was clean. There are no traces of drugs or alcohol of any kind,” a source close to Britney's family told the mag.
Could Britney's clean slate lend credibility to her claim that she missed her hourly meds? After all, if she'd taken her anti-anxiety pills as scheduled, they'd show up in the test, right?
No charges have been filed as of yet. "We aren't charging her with anything at this time," LAPD officer HARDING says. "She is at the [hospital] for her own health and welfare."
Britney's visitation rights "have been suspended pending further order of the court," says Commissioner Scott Gordon. This will be in effect until January 14th when a hearing will then determine what happens next.
Do you think Britney is healthy enough to parent her own two children?
And also, does she truly need help or is she the victim of an overly aggressive legal team... or both?
Currently Britney is sedated and resting in the psychiatric unit at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. A family insider was quoted as saying that the singer requested that no visitors be admitted and her doctors agreed.
I also agree, Britney's best interest seems to be to stay out of the spotlight for awhile, get some rest and a bit of therapy. Then who knows? Personally I think her career is over as well as her ability to win a custody battle at this point.
More on the story quoted in these clipping courtesy of Yahoo!News
By SANDY COHEN, AP Entertainment Writer Fri Jan 4, 6:26 PM ET
LOS ANGELES - A court commissioner gave sole physical and legal custody of Britney Spears' two little boys Friday to ex-husband Kevin Federline and suspended the troubled pop star's visitation rights.
Commissioner Scott Gordon issued a ruling the day after Spears was hauled away from her home by paramedics; police had to intervene when she refused to return the children to Federline after a court-monitored visit.
Gordon ordered another hearing to be held Jan. 14.
Federline had previously been awarded temporary custody of 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James because Spears has defied court orders, resulting in limitations on her visitation.
"I'm not happy about any of these events," Federline attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan said when he left a closed-door emergency hearing Friday afternoon. "There's no winners here."
Federline was not in court for the hearing, Kaplan said.
The attorney had said he did not expect the ruling to be released until Monday, but it was issued shortly after the hearing concluded.
by Rob Woollard AFP writer Fri Jan 4, 2:02 PM ET
LOS ANGELES (AFP) - Britney Spears was being evaluated at a Los Angeles hospital early Friday after being taken from her home by paramedics following the latest twist to the troubled pop star's custody battle.
Spears was wheeled out of her home on a stretcher late Thursday following a stand-off which began when she reportedly refused to release her two children, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1 to ex-husband Kevin Federline's bodyguard.
Video footage of the incident shown on celebrity news websites and television reports showed Spears alternately smiling and looking distraught as she was lifted into an ambulance.
Los Angeles Police Department spokesman Jason Lee said Spears was being detained and evaluated in hospital because officers had found her under the influence of an unknown substance.
Lee said police had been called to Spears' home at 8 pm Thursday (0400 GMT Friday) to resolve a custody dispute.
USmagazine.com and TMZ.com reported that the drama began when Spears failed to hand her two children over as arranged under a court-ordered custody agreement with Federline.
At around 10:30 pm paramedics and an ambulance arrived and shortly afterwards the two children were turned over to Federline after police reviewed court documents, Lee said.
Police could not confirm celebrity news website reports that Spears' youngest son Jayden James had also been taken to the hospital, Lee adding only that there were "no reportable injuries to anyone involved."
People magazine reported on its website that Spears had been placed under a 72-hour lock down for evaluation at Cedars Sinai known as a "5150".
Spears, one of the most successful pop stars of her generation, has been embroiled in a bitter custody battle with Federline ever since the couple separated in late 2006.
Lawyers for Spears and Federline held a court hearing early Friday and were due to return before a judge later. Reports speculated Federline's lawyers will seek to have Spears' access to the children curtailed.
A judge limited the pop star's access to her children in October after she failed to submit to random drug testing as demanded at an earlier hearing where the court ruled Spears was a "habitual and continuous" drug user."
Earlier Thursday Spears began a court-ordered deposition in the custody case after missing several appointments to do so, but appeared for questioning by Federline's lawyer so late that it lasted only 13 minutes, USmagazine reported.
The day before, her lawyers had requested to leave her case, citing "a breakdown in communications" with Spears that made "further representation of her interests impossible."
The court-room drama rumbled throughout a difficult year for Spears that saw her rarely out of the tabloid headlines. She was repeatedly photographed in nightspots wearing no underwear and was also captured bizarrely shaving her head in a hair salon and attacking a photographer's car with an umbrella. Those episodes were followed by a stint in a rehabilitation treatment center.
In September Spears attempted to resurrect her career but suffered a critical savaging after a live performance at the Video Music Awards.
Nevertheless the release of her first album in four years in October, "Blackout," offered Spears some encouragement with critics broadly hailing the work as a success.
But Spears' family was back in the headlines again last month when it emerged that the singer's 16-year-old sister, the star of a popular US television children's show, was pregnant.
Spears shot to superstardom in late 1998, with her smash-hit debut album "Baby One More Time" which she followed with another chart-topping success the following year, "Oops! ... I Did It Again."
According to Time magazine, Spears has sold over 76 million records worldwide, and her 31 million albums sold in the United States make her the eighth best-selling female artist in US music history.
DISTURBING SANTA NO. 18
Only 3 days to go until Christmas, friends and neighbors.
Which means, of course, that this weekend will be Prime Holiday Party Time.
Lots of drinking, lots of unwanted mistletoe come-ons and a sleigh full of inappropriate gestures like this one:
I always wondered what happened to the leatherclad guy in the Village People....
KRAPSODY MAKES NO REPRESENTATIONS ABOUT THE SUITABILITY, RELIABILITY, AVAILABILITY, TIMELINESS, AND/OR ACCURACY OF THE INFORMATION, SOFTWARE, PRODUCTS, SERVICES AND RELATED MATERIALS CONTAINED ON THIS SITE FOR ANY PURPOSE. ALL SUCH INFORMATION, SOFTWARE, PRODUCTS, SERVICES AND RELATED GRAPHICS ARE PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTY OF ANY KIND.
User furthermore agrees to defend, indemnify, and hold harmless Krapsody, its officers, directors, employees, agents, third parties, clowns, midgets, chickens and raccoons for any losses, costs, liabilities and expenses (including reasonable attorneys' fees) relating to or arising out of your use of the service, including any breach by you of the terms of this outlined Disclaimer.
Financial support for Krapsody is provided entirely by its webmaster, and these pages carry no paid advertising of any kind. Indeed, Krapsody looks somewhat askance upon other sites who insist upon selling their own readers to a corporate entity to make a buck.
Yes, I know this is an antiquated view and not terribly in keeping with these modern times. But I'm simply not greedy enough to sell your eyes for the advertising revenue, however lucrative it may be.
However, Krapsody may change any part of this limited disclaimer at any time with or without consent, notice or warning. If the money bundle is large enough I would sell my left nut and the hand-knit shawl off my grandmother's back.
If this should bother the user, user should take this Disclaimer and put it where the sun does not shine.
In general, legally speaking, it would probably be best if you didn't look at any of these web-pages at all.
No warranties, express or implied, have been made for this product's usage or fitness for any specific task. Purchaser agrees to all terms given on the lease when they open the sealed disk-envelope or set eyes upon these pages. Children under the age of four should not be allowed to inhale this product. Do not place contents over your head or else baldness or reproductive sterility may result.
This product is not designed to endure sudden changes in humidity unless you are dousing it with copious amounts of alcohol which result in subsequent dehydration and hair of the dog syndrome in which case give us another drink won't you?
Do not stick your fingers in the gears or grab the saw blade while it is still moving. Eye shielding should be worn at all times. Keep this product refrigerated. Do not expose to direct sunlight. Do not exceed recommended dosage. For external use only.
I take no responsibility for anything contained herein part, stated or implied. This advice has been ignored by 45225 people who don't "get it".
If you fall into that category, try reading the FAQ.
Here is a complete disaster.... I mean, a Complete And Really Thorough Disclaimer for Krapsody readers. Pay special attention to the small print.
ALL CHARACTERS AND EVENTS ON THIS SITE ARE FICTIONAL AND HAVE NO RELATION TO ANY REAL PERSONS, LIVING OR DEAD. And yet, somehow, they still do. But by Dickens it's in the public domain. The Opinions Expressed here do not Necessarily Reflect Those of a Rational Mind. In addition the author is prone to ramble a lot.
Before relying on the material accessed from Krapsody, users should carefully evaluate its accuracy, currency, completeness, relevance for their purposes, and should obtain appropriate professional advice relevant to their circumstances.
Krapsody includes information provided by third parties and in some cases a fourth party, it's all one big party. So party on Wayne. Material provided by ANY parties has not been independently verified or validated. So don't give us krap if it's wrong. Additionally, no warranty either expressed or implied as to the use, accuracy or completeness of any materials provided or accessed from Krapsody is available to any user of the krap contained herein.
Krapsody is not for everyone. Clinical tests show that Krapsody may cause nausea, fatigue, cognitive dysfunction, and kidney or liver problems. Ask your doctor if Krapsody is right for you.
 |
|
|
|
