News Reporter Chuck Storm Accident Blooper

Once again, I will remind readers that wearing a helmet will not, I repeat NOT, prevent accidents, but may lessen the damage inflicted on private or municipal property.

But Officer, It's Just a Lawn Mower

A New Zealand man has been charged with driving a lawn mower while drunk, police said Tuesday. Richard Gunn, 52, was driving the lawn mower down a street in the northern New Zealand town of Dargaville late Monday evening when police stopped him, police spokeswoman Sarah Kennett said.

Gunn's breath alcohol level was at more than twice the legal limit for drivers, police said, and he previously had lost his driver's license.

Gunn said he has been using the lawn mower to get around town since losing his license.

"I thought I was safe," he told TV One News.

Even bicycles went faster than the lawn mower's 5 mph, he said. "I've watched them go past me."

Gunn was scheduled to appear in court later this week on charges of careless driving, driving while disqualified and driving with excess breath alcohol. He faces a potential prison term if convicted.

Police impounded the lawn mower for 28 days.

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Article Courtesy: The Seattle Times (link here)

Voting and You

Ed Helms, Rachael Harris and McLovin (Chris Mintz-Plasse) star in this hilarious in-faux video.

Voting and YOU!
Uploaded by declareyourself

"Gee Beav."........."Golly Wally!"

Know any good recipes for Jackalope stew?

The Origin of the Name?
Well it was approx 1962-64 [can't remember]. I was at the now defunct burger chain White Tower in the sitting room/buttery. They were running a contest to name their stuffed frankenstein like animal. Why I came up with the name jackalope I don't remember, other than the fact it looked like a jack rabbit and an antelope [the horns] so jackalope!

Last weekend I was out with my family taking our usual hike. and bam. just like that some flying bunny w/ antlers comes out. I took a photo of the creature to ask...is it indeed a jackalope?

Remember when Jimmy Carter claimed to have been pursued by a crazed rabbit? Well, guess what it really was?

The Jackalope (Lepus-temperamentalus) is one of the rarest animals in the world. A cross between an extinct pygmy-deer and a species of killer-rabbit, they are extremely shy unless approached. None have ever been captured alive and this rare photo shows a mighty buck about to strike.



Known by the ancients as "deerbunnies", it wasn't until the early 1960's that the modern more fearsome "jackalope" name was adopted.

It is written that you can extract a Jackalope's milk as it sleeps belly up at night. The milk is belived to be medicinal and can be used for a variety of afflictions. The truth is these creatures are aggressive and unpredictable, and should not be provoked for any reason!

The goverment wants you to believe they aren't real, but there are many who believe. The evidence is mounting! Just check out more about the Jackalope Conspiracy and more on the jackalope email testimonials here.

Society's Burning Questions

Society's Burning Questions.
Sometimes questions are like that - burning laser beams of intensity that cut through the thin veil of the moronosphere. That sector of cyberspace which is home to the slack jawed troglodytes, knuckle draggers, and hopelessly reactionary among the world's netizens. And here they are.

1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?

2. I believe five out of four people have trouble with fractions.

3. If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with, "Quit while you're ahead?"

4. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

5. What hair color do they put on the driver's licenses of bald men?

6. I was thinking that women should put pictures of missing husbands on beer cans.

7. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as
they get older, then it dawned on me . . . they were cramming for their finals.

8. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons
and forks so I wonder what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?

9. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed
to do... write to these men? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage
stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they delivered the mail?

10. Never agree to plastic surgery if the doctor's office is full of portraits by Picasso.

11. How much deeper would oceans be if sponges didn't live there?

12. If it's true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

13. STRESSED spelled backwards is DESSERTS.

14. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.

15. Clones are people two.

16. If a man says something in the woods and there are no women there, is he still wrong?

17. No one ever says "It's only a game," when their team is winning.

18. If you can't be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.

19. Ever wonder what the speed of lightning would be if it didn't zigzag?

20. Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.

21. Think "honk" if you're telepathic.

22. Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

23. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

24. If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

25. Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

26. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?


Hey, I don't make this shit up, I just report it.