Political Suess

What if life in Washington were like a Dr. Seuss book? Don't you wonder what that might be like? I know I do. It's not as far-fetched as you might think.

Yertle the Turtle thinks he is the king of the pond. He brags that he is the biggest, the fastest, and the strongest. All was well until he decided his kingdom was too small. He made each turtle stand on another one’s back. And he piled them all up in a big turtle stack. And underneath Yertle, it's turtles all the way down.

Goldman Sachs Joins Occupy Wall Street

In this hilarious parody Goldman Sachs CEO and Chairman Lloyd Blankfein joins the Occupy Wall Street movement and surprisingly he doesn't get pepper sprayed.

Some highlights:

* 0:37 Sifting through his wallet, not-Blankenfein exclaims, "I plan to stay down here for as long as I can with what I have on me. Let's see, that's two hundred...three hundred...four hundred thousand dollars. That should last, what? About a week?"

* 1:12 "I've done a lot of terrible things, but I've never hunted a homeless man for sport. Can Richard Branson say that?"

* 1:41 "Goldman Sachs is not Satan, but we do manage the majority of his offshore assets."

Credit: Rusty Ward (LINK)

Scott Olsen Interview on YouTube Removed

Re: YouTube video - Scott Olsen Interview

Due to the number of emails I have received I am addressing this publicly.

Yesterday I posted an interview with Scott Olsen on YouTube with the intention of spreading news about his recovery and because I, like many, do not want his story to disappear.

Raid Kills Pests On Contact

Endorsed by Lt. John Pikes and Megyn Kellys everywhere.

Middle-Aged Loser Laments Over Toe Story

Kickapoo, IL – In this tale a cowboy toe is profoundly threatened and jealous when a fancy spaceman toe supplants him as top toe in an ordinary living room redecorating moment. 1) Cowboy toe pulls strings. 2) Heavy wooden door falls from sky flattening fancy spaceman toe for good. Remember, in this movie no toe gets left behind!

Dawayne Biggins recalls the catastrophe in vivid detail, "This was no ordinary god-smack folks, I done got bitch slapped by the man upstairs. And it went a little bit like this: 'Me: I've been effing 'round with this thing for way too long now, but I'm ALMOST done! God: BOOM! You're done. Me: I think I'll take a break now.'"