The Cheese Crusades

Somehow I found myself in the middle of a war on the internet. I'm not quite sure how it happened as I was pleasantly minding my own business. It was a day like any other, only it was the kind of day where the birds were swimming in the ocean and the fish were flying in the sky. So I knew something was amiss.

Ask Static: Part Duh

Static,

Do you really look like that? Is that your hair? My what big eyes you have, are they yours? By the looks of your avatar you seem like you need medication... Well, do you? (etc. etc. ad infinitum)

Since I became a member of the BlogCatalog community, many users at have been asking me if my avatar is truly a picture of me.

Although I can only aspire to be as handsome, as charming, and as enthusiastic looking as that fine fellow is, I cannot take complete credit for it. The image in my avatar is in fact, the one and only, Arsenio Hall. My avatar is from a film clip that he had a brief appearance in which is called 'Amazon Women on the Moon', a 1987 film written by comedy duo Michael Barrie and Jim Mulholland.

If They Were Called...

What if Michael Jacksons songs had "in my pants" added to the end of them?
Well, that's just what Krapsody has answered!

Oh golly, these are BAD (no pun intended)...

P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Just Good Friends in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Another Part Of Me in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Man In The Mirror in my pants [Michael Jackson]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Give In To Me in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Will You Be There in my pants [Michael Jackson]
The Man in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Who Is It in my pants [Michael Jackson]
In The Closet in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Is It Scary in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Scream in my pants [Michael Jackson]
They Don't Care About Us in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Stranger In Moscow in my pants [Michael Jackson]
This Time Around in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Money in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Come Together in my pants [Michael Jackson]
You Are Not Alone in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Childhood in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Tabloid Junkie in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Little Susie in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Whatever Happens in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Heartbreaker in my pants [Michael Jackson]
The Way You Love Me in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Butterflies in my pants [Michael Jackson]
2000 Watts in my pants [Michael Jackson]
One More Chance in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Love Never Felt So Good in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Trouble in my pants [Michael Jackson]
The Lost Children in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Smooth Criminal in my pants [Michael Jackson]

Anyone else notice a pattern in his songs?... creepy, it's almost like they were meant to be titled that way.



In other MJ news;
MJ in an interview last week with Krapsody reporter, Willy Whacker, asked Michael about his scandals and gave us these snippets, "I asked Michael if he still slept with children. Michael sighed wistfully and once again stated he no longer has children sleep in his room. 'However', Michael said, 'that doesn't mean I can't have children sleep with me in the family room, the den, the kitchen, the hallways, the stairs, the entertainment room, and of course....the bathroom! Heeheeehee!' He gleefully giggled, just before his nose fell off."

And in yet more MJ news;
Jacko bought a time machine yesterday and traveled back to 1973 where he cornered a young Michael Jackson and persuaded the boy into giving himself, the King Of Pop a hummer!


"Hum Along And Dance in my pants"

Man, MJ still has alot of explainin' to do.

This Is Friggin' Hilarious

NEWS UPDATE!

Baby Commended After Posting
"How To Make A Teen Fly"
Child Abuse Video On You Tube
- Article & video courtesy of Krapsody



Desoto, Georgia
A 16-year-old Lee County teenager who had been arrested and charged with felony cruelty to a child after posting a video on YouTube, demonstrating how to "Make A Baby Fly", has received sentencing yesterday which was handed down by Judge Judy who stated the teen boy shall be at the mercy of the baby he inflicted mental cruelty and intent to cause physical injury to.

Judge Judy had the final word when it came to her lightening speed sentencing which has led to a whole new media circus revolving around the baby's decision and statement to make his own YouTube video later that afternoon. That entire video is no longer posted on the YouTube website, however the best footage was edited and reposted this morning which shows excerpts of the baby's tutorial on "How To Make A Teen Fly" has been making it's rounds all over the internet, the baby gleefully posted.

In that video, the baby orders the teen to be tarred and feathered then stuffed head first into a cannon with several tons of ripe watermelons at a local circus event hosted by Barnum-Bailey-Ringling-Seigfried & Roy Bros, then launched the poor bastard who barely weighs in at 92 lbs., head over feet, across the tent - landing on a goose down pillow, oh the irony!

Paparazzi reports of the teen afterwards stated he had shat his pants, was crying with a snot bubble popping in and out of one of his nostrils between his sobs, and wondering why he was getting all this publicity. The camera flashes apparently blinded him as he inadvertently walked into a tigers cage amidst all the confusion.

The tigers were instantly curious about the teen boy as they had no experience with any other humans other than their trainer and the select few persons who fed them. Of course one tiger was much too interested and snapped the teens head off his body like it was a grape on a vine.

Warning this is graphic and is only a re-enactment!


"It was terrible," said Lee County Sheriff, Harold Breeden. "I can't believe a tiger could do something like that!"

"I guess he found out it's not so darned funny after the baby and that hungry tiger got through with him," said Sheriff Breeden. "He'll think twice, uhhh maybe three times, next time you know, about how funny it was."

Funeral services will be held at the Desoto city dump on Thursday. Attendance numbers are expected to be few or possibly nonexistent.

It's rumored that the boy behind the camera is still facing the same charges and punishment as his late friend. More to come on this breaking news story.

This Is Not Funny

Teen Arrested After Posting "How To Make A Baby Fly" Child Abuse Video On You Tube
- Article & video courtesy of ThaLunatic Daily and The Dreamin' Demon

This is so sick I can't begin to describe my feelings about it. YouTube has given certain people an outlet for being as stupid and as comtemptable as they want to be. I've done some stupid things like any other person has when they were a kid. But these idiots prove the theory that there is no limit to human stupidity.



Desoto, Georgia
A 16-year-old Lee County teenager has been arrested and charged with felony cruelty to a child after posting a video on You Tube, demonstrating how to "Make A Baby Fly".

The video is no longer posted on You Tube, however a news report has been posted, showing excerpts of the video, the teen gleefully posted.

In that video, the teen places the child on an inflatable pillow and then launches it, head over feet, across the room - landing on the bare floor. The infant, who is 8-months-old, was left in the care of the teen who shot the video footage. The other teen involved was his friend and sent the baby flying across the room.

"It was terrible," said Lee County Sheriff, Harold Breeden. "I can't believe a 16-year-old kid would do something like this."

The Lee County Sheriff's department has arrested the teen (who cannot be named because of his age), and booked him into the RYDC, a Juvenile Detention Center. He has been charged with 1st-degree cruelty to children and 3rd-degree cruelty to children.

Police charged the teen with two counts because it considers the act, and then the encouragement of the act, two separate offenses. Police are also leaving the case open, pending a doctor's examination to determine if the child sustained any injuries from the teens behavior.

"It's not going to be funny when the judge gets through with him," said Sheriff Breeden. "He'll think twice next time you know, about how funny it was."

At first it was reported that the boy behind the camera could not be charged with a crime as there was no way to prove that the boy knew what the other teen was about to do. But now, rumors of a second video seem to be a fact and the boy behind the camera is facing the same charges as his friend.

Here's a YouTube video of that local news broadcast regarding the alleged second video.



After reading the story on ThaLunatic Daily I couldn't help but follow up with commentary of my own as feel that incident is one of the most despicable things I have ever seen. The level of disregard for life to me just boggles the mind. Do we blame this entirely on the children involved or do we also place some blame on their parents and society as well. Why if it weren't for tv shows like Jackass or the WWE we might not have things like this occur, unless parents actually used their brains and supervise and teach their children like they ought to. No word on whether the baby is ok, I'm hoping he is. I think all involved including the parents should be brought up on charges and the infants care should be followed up weekly by a social worker once sentencing has been carried out until he reaches adulthood.

We can poke fun at the idea of hurting someone, say for example pushing an old woman down a flight of stairs like in the movie 'Throw Mama from the Train' with Danny DeVito and Billy Crystal.

We can possibly even see the humor in being dysfunctional and abusive to a child, like when Homer Simpson strangles Bart for acting up.



And how about Dead Baby Jokes? Those can be pretty funny, if you can see the humor in them.

Take Andrew Long's post about Baby On Board signs at Shut Your Sprech Hole, a funny take on how other driver's pay attention or react to those signs people put in the back window of their suv's.



Now that's funny. Only because humor is about referring to things in a manner that suggest an element of being funny. A tendency of particular images, stories or situations that provoke laughter and provide amusement which is sometimes subjective. Humor is comprised of three components: wit, mirth, and laughter. And it hardly ever involves real physical violence. The Three Stooges would concur, and I'm sure the makers of Jackass; Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, etc. would agree as well (even though they go to some extremes on that show).

What isn't funny? Deliberately launching a baby across the room with intention to harm the child, video tape it and post it on YouTube. And then claiming you thought it was funny and didn't intend for the infant to get hurt. I got such a rise out of this I posted a comment on ThaLunatic's post;

~Static~ said...

OMG that is just sickening.
I hope they get the teen some MAJOR therapy and that the infant is ok.
July 6, 2008 8:48 AM

to which some dimwit claiming to be a personal friend of one of the teens responded;

the deef end said...

hey im a friend to that kid and there is nothing wrong with him just a stupid teenage mistake how many peope have swung their kids around thinking it was funny or made them dizzy and hurt them?? MANY! he did not want to hurt the baby he just mad[e] a mistake and it is ruining his life with all this publicity
July 7, 2008 11:38 PM

Well, I hope "deef end" is joking and if they aren't I hope they can pull their head outta their "rear end" long enough to wake up and smell the coffee. You can read my response to deef end and form your own opinions. Personally, I think if the 16-year-olds that did this did not want PUBLICITY then why did they post it on the internet?! They have less value than the energy expended to calculate their worth. If life was fair, I could only hope they'd do a triple summersault through the air, and disappear up their own assholes instead of making babies fly. It's still not funny, unless you are clinically insane or a complete fuckwit.

- FIN