Will Smith Getting Jiggy with It

I Can't Get No

Sometimes you can't....
Get Satisfaction FAIL (click pic to enlarge)

Want more background on this post? Click Here

My Chat Session With "Steve"

I recently picked up a Palm Pre from some shlep on Craigslist. I am hopeful they aren't an eStalker, or a serial killer...actually I do, simply because I'd like to take them out. I enjoy raping and strangling serial killers (more than I do clowns, but sometimes it's a real bonus when they are both). So anyhow, as luck would have it, the damn thing has had connectivity issues (they can be resolved), but I needed "technical support" at Palm to help me get it resolved. Anyway, here's that conversation.

A Memory Stick Loaded with Porn Beats a Box Load of Rocks Any Day

Looking for a unique gift? A gift that says it all?

This is what you were seeking then. A gift that exudes style with originality - with simplicity. What better way to show that special someone in your life that you care?

What mother doesn't know that their son would be thrilled when they give them a new Nintendo DS for their birthday.

So imagine the confusion a teen boy experiences upon opening up his gift.. only to find a bunch of stones rolled up in a Chinese newspaper in place of the popular handheld.

Krapsody's Nottie of The Week™ #6!

"Well I don't mind stealing bread
From the mouths of decadents
But I can't feed on the powerless
When my cup's already overfilled

Yeah
But it's on the table
The fire's cooking
And they're farming babies
The slaves are all working

Blood is on the table
The mouths are all choking
But I'm goin' hungry
Yeah"

- excerpt from song "Hunger Strike"
by Temple of the Dog

Octomom? Octopussy? OCTONAUT. Whatever you want to call Nadya Suleman, this is all I know. Nadya, I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why from the day I saw your face I always wake up screaming.

Just for kicks folks, how about we do a bit of a role-play. I'll be the doctor, and you be the patient..or if ya really wanna get kinky, I could be Nadya Suleman and you could inseminate this test tube for me for 20 more screaming babies!

I imagine that Nadya in the near future will be placing a personal ad looking for Mr. Right (Mr. Stupid) and looking for love in all the wrong places. Well, "wooking por nub"..might look like this.




"What human in this planet is capable of taking care of 14 independently without support from family, from friends, from church? No human is!" Suleman was quoted as saying..unless they're unemployed and receiving help from the government to flip the bill to the tune of at least $1.5M, that's how. Riiight. And there are thousands of people who have recently lost their jobs, their homes, and are glad or lucky to have a bowl of warm gruel from a local shelter to feed their children with.

Having had three miscarriages before she attempted in vitro fertilization she must not have heard God correctly. Suleman stated her biological decisions were a "gamble" she was willing to take. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube on this one.

These 14 children are going to need MORE than a village to help raise them.

Suleman's mother Angela has been housing and supporting her daughter Nadya and her six grandchildren by a previous in vitro fertilization procedure in a "cramped" living arrangement for years. All the while not seeing a dime of Nadya's more than $167,000 settlement on a worker's comp claim, after she was injured in 1999 while employed as a psychiatric technician at a state mental hospital.

Finally, comparisons to Angelina Jolie? Really? I think not. Maybe she wishes that, maybe others are making that comparison. She certainly seems to have had some cosmetic surgery done as shown in this photo of her prior to this latest IVF (in vitro Whaddevadafuck!) Angelina is reportedly "totally creeped out" by the woman.

Geez guys, I can only wish Nadya the best of luck, she's gonna need it considering the cost of raising 14 kids, that is if she intends to return to work...at least part-time to help financially support them. Or she could farm babies and sell them on the black market. Maybe Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie could adopt a few of them to help out?

Of course, there are offers for book deals and business proposals like television programs, but Suleman has not decided on any one project yet. Must be nice to have those options, considering the reasons for her fame.

Well, most people's preconceived idea of fame is that it must be great, but I should think fame, especially that particular kind of fame, most people really would not want. Unless they are insane in the membrane. What. Don't you know Nadya's loco?

Despite this stigma that will likely follow this woman the rest of her days, possibly for her children as well..her current plans are to continue pursuing a master's degree in counseling at California State University at Fullerton, but it seems apparent to me that she needs to be the one seeking counseling. She's literally, quite MAD.

To make matters worse, it makes me ashamed that this 33 year-old person is a representative of Generation-X, my generation. I'm only four years older than this baby-making machine and I have not one single child (to the best of my knowledge.) Uggh, how scary would that be? Her attachment to my generation just adds to the whole negative connotations of people in the 28 to 48 year-old age group.

But in all the mess, it's the children I feel most for here.
Their innocence will be tainted by this media circus and the mere fact their mother is stark raving mad. Imagine future job interviews for one of these kids.

"Name?"

"Suleman, sir/ma'am. Jonah Suleman."

"Oh, I see. Say, you're one of the Octomom's test-tube offspring aren't ya boy?"

"Um, yeah."

"NEXT!"

You know I really do detest feeling cynical, but it's people with this kind of thinking that is ruining the planet. This is clearly a case of the stupid getting rewarded for their asinine behaviors.

I just hope the stupid stop breeding and popping out babies like Pez dispensers long enough for the intelligent people to catch up in numbers. But I suppose that's never gonna happen when the ignorant don't even realize that birth control exists yet, or if they do, they consider it "unnatural" and a "sin."

Mmkay. So...how do I follow that up?

See ya whenever I have an article that tops this one.

  

Higher Than a Giraffe's Ass

"The search for wisdom is a great challenge; to act on wisdom is an even greater challenge."
- Jagadguru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa

What does the term "higher than a giraffe's ass" mean? It 's when someone is really high (on life... or drugs.)

This Is Friggin' Hilarious

NEWS UPDATE!

Baby Commended After Posting
"How To Make A Teen Fly"
Child Abuse Video On You Tube
- Article & video courtesy of Krapsody



Desoto, Georgia
A 16-year-old Lee County teenager who had been arrested and charged with felony cruelty to a child after posting a video on YouTube, demonstrating how to "Make A Baby Fly", has received sentencing yesterday which was handed down by Judge Judy who stated the teen boy shall be at the mercy of the baby he inflicted mental cruelty and intent to cause physical injury to.

Judge Judy had the final word when it came to her lightening speed sentencing which has led to a whole new media circus revolving around the baby's decision and statement to make his own YouTube video later that afternoon. That entire video is no longer posted on the YouTube website, however the best footage was edited and reposted this morning which shows excerpts of the baby's tutorial on "How To Make A Teen Fly" has been making it's rounds all over the internet, the baby gleefully posted.

In that video, the baby orders the teen to be tarred and feathered then stuffed head first into a cannon with several tons of ripe watermelons at a local circus event hosted by Barnum-Bailey-Ringling-Seigfried & Roy Bros, then launched the poor bastard who barely weighs in at 92 lbs., head over feet, across the tent - landing on a goose down pillow, oh the irony!

Paparazzi reports of the teen afterwards stated he had shat his pants, was crying with a snot bubble popping in and out of one of his nostrils between his sobs, and wondering why he was getting all this publicity. The camera flashes apparently blinded him as he inadvertently walked into a tigers cage amidst all the confusion.

The tigers were instantly curious about the teen boy as they had no experience with any other humans other than their trainer and the select few persons who fed them. Of course one tiger was much too interested and snapped the teens head off his body like it was a grape on a vine.

Warning this is graphic and is only a re-enactment!


"It was terrible," said Lee County Sheriff, Harold Breeden. "I can't believe a tiger could do something like that!"

"I guess he found out it's not so darned funny after the baby and that hungry tiger got through with him," said Sheriff Breeden. "He'll think twice, uhhh maybe three times, next time you know, about how funny it was."

Funeral services will be held at the Desoto city dump on Thursday. Attendance numbers are expected to be few or possibly nonexistent.

It's rumored that the boy behind the camera is still facing the same charges and punishment as his late friend. More to come on this breaking news story.

This Is Not Funny

Teen Arrested After Posting "How To Make A Baby Fly" Child Abuse Video On You Tube
- Article & video courtesy of ThaLunatic Daily and The Dreamin' Demon

This is so sick I can't begin to describe my feelings about it. YouTube has given certain people an outlet for being as stupid and as comtemptable as they want to be. I've done some stupid things like any other person has when they were a kid. But these idiots prove the theory that there is no limit to human stupidity.



Desoto, Georgia
A 16-year-old Lee County teenager has been arrested and charged with felony cruelty to a child after posting a video on You Tube, demonstrating how to "Make A Baby Fly".

The video is no longer posted on You Tube, however a news report has been posted, showing excerpts of the video, the teen gleefully posted.

In that video, the teen places the child on an inflatable pillow and then launches it, head over feet, across the room - landing on the bare floor. The infant, who is 8-months-old, was left in the care of the teen who shot the video footage. The other teen involved was his friend and sent the baby flying across the room.

"It was terrible," said Lee County Sheriff, Harold Breeden. "I can't believe a 16-year-old kid would do something like this."

The Lee County Sheriff's department has arrested the teen (who cannot be named because of his age), and booked him into the RYDC, a Juvenile Detention Center. He has been charged with 1st-degree cruelty to children and 3rd-degree cruelty to children.

Police charged the teen with two counts because it considers the act, and then the encouragement of the act, two separate offenses. Police are also leaving the case open, pending a doctor's examination to determine if the child sustained any injuries from the teens behavior.

"It's not going to be funny when the judge gets through with him," said Sheriff Breeden. "He'll think twice next time you know, about how funny it was."

At first it was reported that the boy behind the camera could not be charged with a crime as there was no way to prove that the boy knew what the other teen was about to do. But now, rumors of a second video seem to be a fact and the boy behind the camera is facing the same charges as his friend.

Here's a YouTube video of that local news broadcast regarding the alleged second video.



After reading the story on ThaLunatic Daily I couldn't help but follow up with commentary of my own as feel that incident is one of the most despicable things I have ever seen. The level of disregard for life to me just boggles the mind. Do we blame this entirely on the children involved or do we also place some blame on their parents and society as well. Why if it weren't for tv shows like Jackass or the WWE we might not have things like this occur, unless parents actually used their brains and supervise and teach their children like they ought to. No word on whether the baby is ok, I'm hoping he is. I think all involved including the parents should be brought up on charges and the infants care should be followed up weekly by a social worker once sentencing has been carried out until he reaches adulthood.

We can poke fun at the idea of hurting someone, say for example pushing an old woman down a flight of stairs like in the movie 'Throw Mama from the Train' with Danny DeVito and Billy Crystal.

We can possibly even see the humor in being dysfunctional and abusive to a child, like when Homer Simpson strangles Bart for acting up.



And how about Dead Baby Jokes? Those can be pretty funny, if you can see the humor in them.

Take Andrew Long's post about Baby On Board signs at Shut Your Sprech Hole, a funny take on how other driver's pay attention or react to those signs people put in the back window of their suv's.



Now that's funny. Only because humor is about referring to things in a manner that suggest an element of being funny. A tendency of particular images, stories or situations that provoke laughter and provide amusement which is sometimes subjective. Humor is comprised of three components: wit, mirth, and laughter. And it hardly ever involves real physical violence. The Three Stooges would concur, and I'm sure the makers of Jackass; Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, etc. would agree as well (even though they go to some extremes on that show).

What isn't funny? Deliberately launching a baby across the room with intention to harm the child, video tape it and post it on YouTube. And then claiming you thought it was funny and didn't intend for the infant to get hurt. I got such a rise out of this I posted a comment on ThaLunatic's post;

~Static~ said...

OMG that is just sickening.
I hope they get the teen some MAJOR therapy and that the infant is ok.
July 6, 2008 8:48 AM

to which some dimwit claiming to be a personal friend of one of the teens responded;

the deef end said...

hey im a friend to that kid and there is nothing wrong with him just a stupid teenage mistake how many peope have swung their kids around thinking it was funny or made them dizzy and hurt them?? MANY! he did not want to hurt the baby he just mad[e] a mistake and it is ruining his life with all this publicity
July 7, 2008 11:38 PM

Well, I hope "deef end" is joking and if they aren't I hope they can pull their head outta their "rear end" long enough to wake up and smell the coffee. You can read my response to deef end and form your own opinions. Personally, I think if the 16-year-olds that did this did not want PUBLICITY then why did they post it on the internet?! They have less value than the energy expended to calculate their worth. If life was fair, I could only hope they'd do a triple summersault through the air, and disappear up their own assholes instead of making babies fly. It's still not funny, unless you are clinically insane or a complete fuckwit.

- FIN

How to Get Revenge On Construction Workers

Ladies! Tired of getting squawked at when you walk by a construction site? Well now you can get your revenge...

Warning: Possibly NSFW

Chick Gets Revenge On Construction Workers - Watch more free videos



Ingredients:
1 part frustration
1 part attitude
1 part pre-op transexual

Enjoy!

¡Mi Asno Duele. Ay Caramba!

¿Que pasa, por qué esta reacción? ¡Mi Asno Duele. Ay Caramba!
(That passes, why this reaction? My Burro Hurts. Oh Heck!)

I swear it seems people are so easily offended anymore, by people I am referring to Americans, because it's often implied by many Americans that Americans are the only people on the planet. I think I can safely say so, since I am American, and amongst the many things America stands for, one would be freedom of speech...but hold on, let me just barricade the door, I see a crowd gathering outside already...hold on one sec.

Woman Goes for Leg Operation, Gets New Anus Instead

31 March 2008

Frunkfart, Germany (Krapsody) - A German retiree is taking a hospital to court after she went in for a leg operation and got a new anus instead, according to FoxNews.com

When I read some German woman got a new a-hole, I thought it meant she got remarried...

If you think you’re having a bad day, at least you didn’t accidentally get a new anus. But if you did accidentally get a new anus, then yes, you are having a bad day.

A Job That Really Sucks

On March 3rd in London, a Polish building contractor after being caught in the act with a vacuum cleaner claimed he was cleaning his underpants with Henry Hoover when he was found naked and on his knees in a hospital's staff canteen.

Apparently this is the face that inspired nasty thoughts The worker was supposed to be locking up the building site near the Great Ormond Street Children's Hospital when a stunned security guard discovered him in the middle of a "compromising act" with the cleaner, literally on his knees canoodling with the hose end of a Henry Hoover vacuum which has a large smiley face painted on its front and a hose protruding from its "nose". Shouting in polish, "yes, suck it!" the worker suddenly realizing he had been busted, came up with the unusual excuse. The security guard, suitably horrified according to the Telegraph, knew that something was off and told the man to "clean himself and the hoover" (ad lib. "kindly remove your Flying Purple People Eater from the vacuum hose and get the hell outta here") before asking him to leave and informing his employers. When later questioned by his employers, the man said he was vacuuming his underpants, which was "a common practice in Poland". Of course the people of Poland were outraged by his excuse. A mixed mob of angry and hysterically laughing poles gathered outside the British Embassy in Krakow. One man stated, "This is only done when someone shits their pants, which this man clearly had not done. This is an outrage!" click to enlarge The man's employers at HG Construction, were quoted, "That behaviour is not acceptable, though it gave a few people a laugh. Okay, it gave everyone a laugh and will continue to, so long as it is broadcast on every news station and printed in every newspaper worldwide!". The worker has since been fired. The man is now suing for sexual harassment and discrimination against homosexual Henry Hoover vacuum cleaner relations. Giving a new meaning to the old saying, "He who laughs last, gets to clean the vacuum".

Henry Hoover is described on ShowerRite's website as "famous for its looks, but under its fascia lies a powerful, reliable vacuum cleaner ready to go time and time again." Apparently they didn't realize the sexual innuendo of that statement. And at £118.60 or $238.88, that's alot of bang for your buck (no pun intended).

But guess what? This guy is not the only freak caught doing the nasty with an inanimate object. No! Bizarre sex crimes involving inanimate objects seem to be a trend lately.

A 32-year-old man was arrested in Wiltshire, U.K. for allegedly simulating a sex act with a lamp-post. When they arrived they arrested him on suspicion of outraging public decency.

A police spokesman said officers were called to a road in the town of Westbury on February 16 after they received a report of a man acting indecently outside a block of flats "occupied by several young women". Released on bail the man was recalled for questioning following an investigation into the incident after several interviews with witnesses - including children. He has since been re-released pending further inquiries. The lamp post declined to press charges.


Last year, 51-year-old Robert Stewart was placed on probation for three years after being caught trying to have sex with a bicycle. When it's implied that he was trying, I can only assume the bicycle wasn't cooperating.

Naked from the waist down, two cleaners at the Aberley House Hostel in south west Scotland walked in on him and he paused only to ask, "What is it, hen?", before continuing to "move his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex". The court was told that alcohol was the cause of his problems. Along with extreme perversion and pedalphilia (look it up, if it doesn't exist then they haven't added it yet).

In 1993, Karl Watkins, an electrician, was jailed for having sex with pavements in Redditch, Worcs. He was quoted as saying, "Copulating with electrical outlets was much too shocking."

Also in history, heinous commiters of sex with inanimate objects included Ronald McDonald, who admitted bonking soft serve ice cream dispensers in various McDonald's restaurants, giving a whole new meaning to "Where's the beef?".

Karl Marx, used to romp with farming equipment, which is the real reason leading up to his expulsion from Belgium in 1848.

Spamtasticly Spam-O-Ramalicious

Find your own damn russian mail order bride named Yulija! This one's mine.

Clicky -->


Yes, I'm very proud of my stupid forum postings. Am I a F-arse? But no, I am an ass.

Owner Of Black Market Kidney Ring Detained

If you've woken up in a tub full of ice with a note explaining that you have to call emergency then you can thank this nut.

In Nepal (AP)- The leader of a black market kidney ring is being sent back to India. Amit Kumar is wanted for removing hundreds of kidneys from poor laborers often at gunpoint.

It is said that Kumar's ring has sold over 500 kidneys to clients from all over the world. Police found Kumar with a waiting list of 49 more individuals.

Kumar's clinics spanned over 5 states, one of which was raided in January. It was discovered that this operation involved four doctors, several hospitals, twenty-four nurses, paramedics and a car laboratory.

After breaking up this clinic in New Delhi, Kumar fled to a top jungle resort in Nepal where he was arrested, and is now being extradited back to India.
More on the story here.

Britney Hauled Off In Ambulance, Y'all

Another dramatic episode in the Spears vs. Federline custody debacle.
It's another great start to a new year as it appears Britney has finally hit rock bottom, Britney Spears was placed on lockdown for a mental evaluation Friday after the pop star locked herself in a room with one of her children at her L.A. home and refused to hand him over to ex-husband Kevin Federline.

Police cars, ambulances and firetrucks with sirens blazing, helicopters hovering above — it was a scene straight out of a Hollywood blockbuster Thursday night as Britney Spears and her infant hid from the authorities inside her Beverly Hills home.

"It looked like a hostage situation," one witness was quoted at the time.

So how did this all happen? Let's retrace her steps!



11:32 a.m.: Britney, in a bright fuschia halter dress and heels, arrives over 90 minutes late to her final chance to give a court-ordered deposition in her custody battle with ex-husband Kevin Federline. She is only able to be deposed for approximately 14 minutes.

12:20 p.m.: Brit arrives back home at her gated community, The Summit. Her sons are there for their scheduled visit, as is a court-appointed monitor.

7 p.m.: K-Fed's security team arrives to pick up boys Sean Preston and Jayden James and bring them back to their father's house. When there is a delay in releasing the boys, Britney's assistant, Carla, makes excuses for the pop star. However, it soon becomes clear that there is a problem.

At some point, 2-year-old Sean Preston is removed from the house, leaving only little Jayden inside with his mother.

8 p.m.: The police are notified of a custodial situation at Britney's house and officers are dispatched to The Summit. But when they arrive, they find that the court-appointed monitor, who has been locked out of the house, is not in possession of the paperwork required to allow them to enter Britney's house.

9:20 p.m.: K-Fed's lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan arrives at The Summit with the required paperwork. He and five police cars enter the gated community and drive up to Britney's house.

10:30 p.m.: More than a dozen police officers, as well as two ambulances and a handful of fire rescue trucks are now on the scene. Sometime before 11 p.m., Britney's cousin Alli and Brit's assistant Carla leave the house, leaving Brit alone with Jayden James.

11:45 p.m.: Britney is taken out of her home strapped to a gurney and placed into an ambulance, which is escorted by 13 police cars with sirens blaring to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center, arriving at approximately 12:30 a.m. Jayden is brought to the hospital in a separate vehicle.



"We are concerned about her mental state and believe she may be under the influence," an LAPD officer revealed to the press at the time of Brit's arrival at Cedars-Sinai.

Britney, who had been sobbing when taken from her home, appeared distant and erratic as she was escorted out of the ambulance and into the hospital. "Her eyes were like pinholes, and she was strapped to the gurney," another witness recalled.

Already waiting at the hospital's emergency room is K-Fed and his lawyer Mark Vincent Kaplan obviously in shock not sure as to what had transpired and lead up to this.

Sources have stated that Britney takes prescription medication to treat a bipolar disorder. This source who was a companion explains that if the singer misses her hourly dosage of medication the result is severe anxiety.

Our source presumes that Thursday’s hectic schedule and at least one missed dosage may have contributed to that night’s occurrence.

Life & Style is reporting that early police reports about Britney being under the influence when being taken to Cedars Sinai are false - all tests came back negative!

“Her blood test just came back, and, thank God, it was clean. There are no traces of drugs or alcohol of any kind,” a source close to Britney's family told the mag.

Could Britney's clean slate lend credibility to her claim that she missed her hourly meds? After all, if she'd taken her anti-anxiety pills as scheduled, they'd show up in the test, right?

No charges have been filed as of yet. "We aren't charging her with anything at this time," LAPD officer HARDING says. "She is at the [hospital] for her own health and welfare."

Britney's visitation rights "have been suspended pending further order of the court," says Commissioner Scott Gordon. This will be in effect until January 14th when a hearing will then determine what happens next.

Do you think Britney is healthy enough to parent her own two children?
And also, does she truly need help or is she the victim of an overly aggressive legal team... or both?

Currently Britney is sedated and resting in the psychiatric unit at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. A family insider was quoted as saying that the singer requested that no visitors be admitted and her doctors agreed.

I also agree, Britney's best interest seems to be to stay out of the spotlight for awhile, get some rest and a bit of therapy. Then who knows? Personally I think her career is over as well as her ability to win a custody battle at this point.



More on the story quoted in these clipping courtesy of Yahoo!News

By SANDY COHEN, AP Entertainment Writer Fri Jan 4, 6:26 PM ET
LOS ANGELES - A court commissioner gave sole physical and legal custody of Britney Spears' two little boys Friday to ex-husband Kevin Federline and suspended the troubled pop star's visitation rights.


Commissioner Scott Gordon issued a ruling the day after Spears was hauled away from her home by paramedics; police had to intervene when she refused to return the children to Federline after a court-monitored visit.

Gordon ordered another hearing to be held Jan. 14.

Federline had previously been awarded temporary custody of 2-year-old Sean Preston and 1-year-old Jayden James because Spears has defied court orders, resulting in limitations on her visitation.

"I'm not happy about any of these events," Federline attorney Mark Vincent Kaplan said when he left a closed-door emergency hearing Friday afternoon. "There's no winners here."

Federline was not in court for the hearing, Kaplan said.

The attorney had said he did not expect the ruling to be released until Monday, but it was issued shortly after the hearing concluded.

by Rob Woollard AFP writer Fri Jan 4, 2:02 PM ET
LOS ANGELES (AFP) - Britney Spears was being evaluated at a Los Angeles hospital early Friday after being taken from her home by paramedics following the latest twist to the troubled pop star's custody battle.

Spears was wheeled out of her home on a stretcher late Thursday following a stand-off which began when she reportedly refused to release her two children, Sean Preston, 2, and Jayden James, 1 to ex-husband Kevin Federline's bodyguard.

Video footage of the incident shown on celebrity news websites and television reports showed Spears alternately smiling and looking distraught as she was lifted into an ambulance.

Los Angeles Police Department spokesman Jason Lee said Spears was being detained and evaluated in hospital because officers had found her under the influence of an unknown substance.

Lee said police had been called to Spears' home at 8 pm Thursday (0400 GMT Friday) to resolve a custody dispute.

USmagazine.com and TMZ.com reported that the drama began when Spears failed to hand her two children over as arranged under a court-ordered custody agreement with Federline.

At around 10:30 pm paramedics and an ambulance arrived and shortly afterwards the two children were turned over to Federline after police reviewed court documents, Lee said.

Police could not confirm celebrity news website reports that Spears' youngest son Jayden James had also been taken to the hospital, Lee adding only that there were "no reportable injuries to anyone involved."

People magazine reported on its website that Spears had been placed under a 72-hour lock down for evaluation at Cedars Sinai known as a "5150".

Spears, one of the most successful pop stars of her generation, has been embroiled in a bitter custody battle with Federline ever since the couple separated in late 2006.

Lawyers for Spears and Federline held a court hearing early Friday and were due to return before a judge later. Reports speculated Federline's lawyers will seek to have Spears' access to the children curtailed.

A judge limited the pop star's access to her children in October after she failed to submit to random drug testing as demanded at an earlier hearing where the court ruled Spears was a "habitual and continuous" drug user."

Earlier Thursday Spears began a court-ordered deposition in the custody case after missing several appointments to do so, but appeared for questioning by Federline's lawyer so late that it lasted only 13 minutes, USmagazine reported.

The day before, her lawyers had requested to leave her case, citing "a breakdown in communications" with Spears that made "further representation of her interests impossible."

The court-room drama rumbled throughout a difficult year for Spears that saw her rarely out of the tabloid headlines. She was repeatedly photographed in nightspots wearing no underwear and was also captured bizarrely shaving her head in a hair salon and attacking a photographer's car with an umbrella. Those episodes were followed by a stint in a rehabilitation treatment center.

In September Spears attempted to resurrect her career but suffered a critical savaging after a live performance at the Video Music Awards.

Nevertheless the release of her first album in four years in October, "Blackout," offered Spears some encouragement with critics broadly hailing the work as a success.

But Spears' family was back in the headlines again last month when it emerged that the singer's 16-year-old sister, the star of a popular US television children's show, was pregnant.

Spears shot to superstardom in late 1998, with her smash-hit debut album "Baby One More Time" which she followed with another chart-topping success the following year, "Oops! ... I Did It Again."

According to Time magazine, Spears has sold over 76 million records worldwide, and her 31 million albums sold in the United States make her the eighth best-selling female artist in US music history.

Kids blamed in Christmas Eve theft

Fri Dec 28, 10:41 PM ET
SOUTH BRUNSWICK, N.J. - Local police said it was a typical holiday Grinch tale: A home was broken into on Christmas Eve, and wrapped presents were stolen off a kitchen table.

Little did they know the culprits were kids!

Christmas card arrives 93 years late

This is the ultimate story of "Oops! Wha-happened?" by the USPS. It should be showcased on 'Sick Sad World' if it were a reality tv series. But enough of my sarcastic commentary. Nah, just kidding.

Fri Dec 14, 10:35 PM ET Courtesy of: Associated Press
OBERLIN, Kan. - A postcard featuring a color drawing of Santa Claus and a young girl was mailed in 1914, but its journey was slower than Christmas. It just arrived in northwest Kansas.
(And this is news how exactly? Talk about snail mail. I could probably walk, no... crawl my mail across town faster than it takes to mail it in my teeny tiny area on any given average day.)

The Christmas card was dated Dec. 23, 1914, and mailed to Ethel Martin of Oberlin, apparently from her cousins in Alma, Neb.

It's a mystery where it spent most of the last century, Oberlin Postmaster Steve Schultz said. "It's surprising that it never got thrown away," he said. "How someone found it, I don't know."
(That's such a relief to know how it was "found" by "someone"... perhaps they were rummaging through the 'unemptied 93 year old trash bin'?)

Ethel Martin is deceased (No shit?), but Schultz said the post office wanted to get the card to a relative.
(That's a nice sentiment Schultz. It's the thought that counts, 93 years late is better than never. It may have been Ethel's only contact with her relatives in years and likely dozens if not hundreds of your postal representatives were too drunk or too dense to use a map & realise that Kansas is a far cry from Illinois.)

That's how the 93-year-old relic ended up with Bernice Martin, Ethel's sister-in-law. She said she believed the card had been found somewhere in Illinois.
(I'm just surprised it didn't end up in Canada, ok... bad geography joke. Nevermind the spell check joke then.)

"That's all we know," she said. "But it is kind of curious. We'd like to know how it got down there."
(Honestly, so would I. I'm sure most people who read this national story would. In fact someone out there reading it was probably thinking, "I should have sent my x-mas present MUCH sooner". But some things will continue to remain a mystery, like Bigfoot, the Lochness Monster, if Elvis is still alive and the secret ingredient(s) in Crispy Creme Donuts.)

The card was placed inside another envelope with modern postage for the trip to Oberlin — the one-cent postage of the early 20th century wouldn't have covered it, Martin said.
(Oh, dear, you mean "someone" had to splurge after 93 years and come up with the other .40 cents for postage & "handling"? What will they ever do now, how will their kids go to college? Oh my gawd, dear lord in heaven, it's a miracle! ...that the post office has delivered any mail correctly since.)

"We don't know much about it," she said. "But wherever they kept it, it was in perfect shape."
(Hmm, looks like somebody is on Santa's Naughty List this year. And for once it's not me.)

Krap Video

I am also a creator of amateur video!
By amateur I mean "shit". Just like this...

Fake money doesn't fool strippers

SMYRNA, Tenn. - A man who authorities say used his computer to make fake $100 bills to buy lap dances at a strip club has pleaded guilty to counterfeiting charges, federal prosecutors said.



BUsTeD!!

Strippers at Deja Vu in Nashville were suspicious of the bills and called police after Damon Armagost spent $600 of the fake money April 16, authorities said.



Stripper and counterfeiter caught on camera


When officers arrived, Armagost first told them he got the money when he sold gold coins for $1,400 to an unidentified person.


Unidentified person(s) identified!!

U.S. Secret Service agents later determined that counterfeit bills with the same serial number had been passed in other parts of the country. When they went to Armagost's Smyrna home, about 20 miles southeast of Nashville, a family member told agents that an image of a $100 bill had been on a computer there.

Armagost then acknowledged that he had downloaded the image from the Internet and printed 14 of the bills, prosecutors said. He pleaded guilty Friday to manufacturing and passing counterfeit currency and has a sentencing date of Nov. 5.