Dance, Monkey, Dance!

So I was just driving down the road minding my own business when I heard a loud thump on the side of my truck. "What the hell??" I said out loud to myself.

Thinking somebody's kid was trying to make a break for it across the street at the last second and had run head first into my truck (which is not unusual for the region I've had the unfortunate experience of living in for far too long and being surrounded by an overabundance of asshat locals), I immediately hit the brakes and hop out to inspect the damage.

But there was only a few kids standing around at the nearby street corner waiting for their school bus to pick them up. The little ones appeared to be aged 8 to 12 and gazed at the tallest one in their group, and there he was, the skinny 6'5" adolescent who looked guilty and was obviously their leader.

Woody Allen, Gary Glitter Show Support For Polanski

Since his arrest on September 26, in Switzerland on his way to pick up a lifetime achievement "Golden Icon Award" from the Zurich Film Festival, Roman Polanski's fate now hangs in the balance.

These days good and sensible doesn’t sell. Especially when you've eluded a 31-year-old fugitive warrant by skipping bail, fleeing the country, after pleading guilty and being convicted of getting a 13-year-old girl naked in a hot tub, plying her with champagne and quaaludes and forcing sex on her.



Never mind that Polanski's unquestionably talented. He's committed the crime, now he's gotta do the time. A slew of notable jailbait-chasing creeps are showing their support for Mr. Polanski.




Woody Allen, another brilliant comedian and filmmaker, offered his unlikely support. Pleading for Roman's release, Allen himself guilty of having younghot lusty fantasies, marrying the adopted daughter of his longtime love interest, would be the last person you would want to come forward if you were caught kiddie fiddling.

Allen shows how he won over Soon Yi

Allen quoted as saying, "How can anyone be utterly skeezed out by a middle-aged man jumping into the sack with jailbait? It's perfectly natural for a guy to be with a girl wherein he's older than her father...even if he's..practically her father."



Paul Francis Gadd, a.k.a. glam-rocker Gary Glitter, longest chart runs of any solo singer in the UK during the 70s couldn't help himself but show his support for Polanski. Gary said, "Age ain't nothin' but a number. AND that 10-year-old has my number. Does that make anybody uncomfortable?"

Gary Glitter seductively asks:
Do You Wanna Touch Me?

R. Kelly, trapped in a closet full of 14-year-olds says he's all for freeing Roman...the pizza delivery boy, after he's done pissing on him.

R. Kelly's gonna piss on j00

Travis Bickle, vigilantism motivated by sexual jealousy as it is by any kind of desire for justice.

You talkin' to me?

Who needs unrequited, consensual pedophilia if you have no problems with the violence typically portrayed in most movies? But complaining about the violence just makes you feel like a square.



But where do you draw the line between impropriety and turning predatorial relationships into heroism? Only in your wet dreams, Mary Kay Letourneau.

'Hot for Teacher' night is not creepy, because it's okay to rape little boys when you're a hot 34-year-old female teacher.




Herbert the Pervert, is one sketchy character. Perverts (in contrast to hot female teachers) are usually characterized by thin mustaches, clammy hands, and the ownership of a van turned into an ice cream business on wheels.

But not this seemingly harmless old man. He lures the newspaper boy in with promise of icy treats in his basement.

I got a whole freezer full of popsicles down in the cellar.

This dirty-year-old creepy and/or awkwardly disturbing menace to society, is always scissoring little boys with his eyes. An honorary member of NAMBLA, his art of bumblefucking is very unique. Herbert "the Pervert" is a bumblefucking sensei, and the origins and ways of bumblefucking are only known to him.



One thing is for sure, real friends are in short supply these days. But with friends like these, who needs enemies. Who needs decency or justice? Because we might possibly live in a world where fame trumps decency and justice.

“If I had killed somebody, it wouldn’t have had so much appeal to the press, you see? But… fucking, you see, and the young girls. Judges want to fuck young girls. Juries want to fuck young girls. Everyone wants to fuck young girls!”

- Roman Polanski on fucking young girls (source)

If it were up to me, anyone who harms a child sexually would spend eternity in hell giving rim jobs to Hitler and obese people with bacillary dysentery.

Losing your dignity is probably one of the worst things a human being can endure, just ask any victim of rape. Polanski will probably be forced to join the ranks of national registered sex offenders and I think he should make a biopic based around his experiences leading up to that...not like Wanted and Desired or Manhattan.

Comparing apples to oranges, most actors and artists toil forever in obscurity, never getting recognition for the roles they portray or works of art they create.

But if you hone your craft and work diligently, you might find yourself in the role of a lifetime instead of making an unnoticed dramatic exit stage left. Because in a land of predators, the lion never fears the jackal....or the pedobear.

Emma Watson runs away from Pedobear Polanski at Brown University's campus.
Welcome to Rhode Island, Emma!

Phillip Garrido could not be reached for comment.

Krapsody's Nottie of The Week™ #6!

"Well I don't mind stealing bread
From the mouths of decadents
But I can't feed on the powerless
When my cup's already overfilled

Yeah
But it's on the table
The fire's cooking
And they're farming babies
The slaves are all working

Blood is on the table
The mouths are all choking
But I'm goin' hungry
Yeah"

- excerpt from song "Hunger Strike"
by Temple of the Dog

Octomom? Octopussy? OCTONAUT. Whatever you want to call Nadya Suleman, this is all I know. Nadya, I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why from the day I saw your face I always wake up screaming.

Just for kicks folks, how about we do a bit of a role-play. I'll be the doctor, and you be the patient..or if ya really wanna get kinky, I could be Nadya Suleman and you could inseminate this test tube for me for 20 more screaming babies!

I imagine that Nadya in the near future will be placing a personal ad looking for Mr. Right (Mr. Stupid) and looking for love in all the wrong places. Well, "wooking por nub"..might look like this.




"What human in this planet is capable of taking care of 14 independently without support from family, from friends, from church? No human is!" Suleman was quoted as saying..unless they're unemployed and receiving help from the government to flip the bill to the tune of at least $1.5M, that's how. Riiight. And there are thousands of people who have recently lost their jobs, their homes, and are glad or lucky to have a bowl of warm gruel from a local shelter to feed their children with.

Having had three miscarriages before she attempted in vitro fertilization she must not have heard God correctly. Suleman stated her biological decisions were a "gamble" she was willing to take. You can't put the toothpaste back in the tube on this one.

These 14 children are going to need MORE than a village to help raise them.

Suleman's mother Angela has been housing and supporting her daughter Nadya and her six grandchildren by a previous in vitro fertilization procedure in a "cramped" living arrangement for years. All the while not seeing a dime of Nadya's more than $167,000 settlement on a worker's comp claim, after she was injured in 1999 while employed as a psychiatric technician at a state mental hospital.

Finally, comparisons to Angelina Jolie? Really? I think not. Maybe she wishes that, maybe others are making that comparison. She certainly seems to have had some cosmetic surgery done as shown in this photo of her prior to this latest IVF (in vitro Whaddevadafuck!) Angelina is reportedly "totally creeped out" by the woman.

Geez guys, I can only wish Nadya the best of luck, she's gonna need it considering the cost of raising 14 kids, that is if she intends to return to work...at least part-time to help financially support them. Or she could farm babies and sell them on the black market. Maybe Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie could adopt a few of them to help out?

Of course, there are offers for book deals and business proposals like television programs, but Suleman has not decided on any one project yet. Must be nice to have those options, considering the reasons for her fame.

Well, most people's preconceived idea of fame is that it must be great, but I should think fame, especially that particular kind of fame, most people really would not want. Unless they are insane in the membrane. What. Don't you know Nadya's loco?

Despite this stigma that will likely follow this woman the rest of her days, possibly for her children as well..her current plans are to continue pursuing a master's degree in counseling at California State University at Fullerton, but it seems apparent to me that she needs to be the one seeking counseling. She's literally, quite MAD.

To make matters worse, it makes me ashamed that this 33 year-old person is a representative of Generation-X, my generation. I'm only four years older than this baby-making machine and I have not one single child (to the best of my knowledge.) Uggh, how scary would that be? Her attachment to my generation just adds to the whole negative connotations of people in the 28 to 48 year-old age group.

But in all the mess, it's the children I feel most for here.
Their innocence will be tainted by this media circus and the mere fact their mother is stark raving mad. Imagine future job interviews for one of these kids.

"Name?"

"Suleman, sir/ma'am. Jonah Suleman."

"Oh, I see. Say, you're one of the Octomom's test-tube offspring aren't ya boy?"

"Um, yeah."

"NEXT!"

You know I really do detest feeling cynical, but it's people with this kind of thinking that is ruining the planet. This is clearly a case of the stupid getting rewarded for their asinine behaviors.

I just hope the stupid stop breeding and popping out babies like Pez dispensers long enough for the intelligent people to catch up in numbers. But I suppose that's never gonna happen when the ignorant don't even realize that birth control exists yet, or if they do, they consider it "unnatural" and a "sin."

Mmkay. So...how do I follow that up?

See ya whenever I have an article that tops this one.

  

Higher Than a Giraffe's Ass

"The search for wisdom is a great challenge; to act on wisdom is an even greater challenge."
- Jagadguru Siddhaswarupananda Paramahamsa

What does the term "higher than a giraffe's ass" mean? It 's when someone is really high (on life... or drugs.)

If They Were Called...

What if Michael Jacksons songs had "in my pants" added to the end of them?
Well, that's just what Krapsody has answered!

Oh golly, these are BAD (no pun intended)...

P.Y.T. (Pretty Young Thing) in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Just Good Friends in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Another Part Of Me in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Man In The Mirror in my pants [Michael Jackson]
I Just Can't Stop Loving You in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Give In To Me in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Will You Be There in my pants [Michael Jackson]
The Man in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Who Is It in my pants [Michael Jackson]
In The Closet in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Is It Scary in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Scream in my pants [Michael Jackson]
They Don't Care About Us in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Stranger In Moscow in my pants [Michael Jackson]
This Time Around in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Money in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Come Together in my pants [Michael Jackson]
You Are Not Alone in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Childhood in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Tabloid Junkie in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Little Susie in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Whatever Happens in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Heartbreaker in my pants [Michael Jackson]
The Way You Love Me in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Butterflies in my pants [Michael Jackson]
2000 Watts in my pants [Michael Jackson]
One More Chance in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Love Never Felt So Good in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Trouble in my pants [Michael Jackson]
The Lost Children in my pants [Michael Jackson]
Smooth Criminal in my pants [Michael Jackson]

Anyone else notice a pattern in his songs?... creepy, it's almost like they were meant to be titled that way.



In other MJ news;
MJ in an interview last week with Krapsody reporter, Willy Whacker, asked Michael about his scandals and gave us these snippets, "I asked Michael if he still slept with children. Michael sighed wistfully and once again stated he no longer has children sleep in his room. 'However', Michael said, 'that doesn't mean I can't have children sleep with me in the family room, the den, the kitchen, the hallways, the stairs, the entertainment room, and of course....the bathroom! Heeheeehee!' He gleefully giggled, just before his nose fell off."

And in yet more MJ news;
Jacko bought a time machine yesterday and traveled back to 1973 where he cornered a young Michael Jackson and persuaded the boy into giving himself, the King Of Pop a hummer!


"Hum Along And Dance in my pants"

Man, MJ still has alot of explainin' to do.

This Is Friggin' Hilarious

NEWS UPDATE!

Baby Commended After Posting
"How To Make A Teen Fly"
Child Abuse Video On You Tube
- Article & video courtesy of Krapsody



Desoto, Georgia
A 16-year-old Lee County teenager who had been arrested and charged with felony cruelty to a child after posting a video on YouTube, demonstrating how to "Make A Baby Fly", has received sentencing yesterday which was handed down by Judge Judy who stated the teen boy shall be at the mercy of the baby he inflicted mental cruelty and intent to cause physical injury to.

Judge Judy had the final word when it came to her lightening speed sentencing which has led to a whole new media circus revolving around the baby's decision and statement to make his own YouTube video later that afternoon. That entire video is no longer posted on the YouTube website, however the best footage was edited and reposted this morning which shows excerpts of the baby's tutorial on "How To Make A Teen Fly" has been making it's rounds all over the internet, the baby gleefully posted.

In that video, the baby orders the teen to be tarred and feathered then stuffed head first into a cannon with several tons of ripe watermelons at a local circus event hosted by Barnum-Bailey-Ringling-Seigfried & Roy Bros, then launched the poor bastard who barely weighs in at 92 lbs., head over feet, across the tent - landing on a goose down pillow, oh the irony!

Paparazzi reports of the teen afterwards stated he had shat his pants, was crying with a snot bubble popping in and out of one of his nostrils between his sobs, and wondering why he was getting all this publicity. The camera flashes apparently blinded him as he inadvertently walked into a tigers cage amidst all the confusion.

The tigers were instantly curious about the teen boy as they had no experience with any other humans other than their trainer and the select few persons who fed them. Of course one tiger was much too interested and snapped the teens head off his body like it was a grape on a vine.

Warning this is graphic and is only a re-enactment!


"It was terrible," said Lee County Sheriff, Harold Breeden. "I can't believe a tiger could do something like that!"

"I guess he found out it's not so darned funny after the baby and that hungry tiger got through with him," said Sheriff Breeden. "He'll think twice, uhhh maybe three times, next time you know, about how funny it was."

Funeral services will be held at the Desoto city dump on Thursday. Attendance numbers are expected to be few or possibly nonexistent.

It's rumored that the boy behind the camera is still facing the same charges and punishment as his late friend. More to come on this breaking news story.

This Is Not Funny

Teen Arrested After Posting "How To Make A Baby Fly" Child Abuse Video On You Tube
- Article & video courtesy of ThaLunatic Daily and The Dreamin' Demon

This is so sick I can't begin to describe my feelings about it. YouTube has given certain people an outlet for being as stupid and as comtemptable as they want to be. I've done some stupid things like any other person has when they were a kid. But these idiots prove the theory that there is no limit to human stupidity.



Desoto, Georgia
A 16-year-old Lee County teenager has been arrested and charged with felony cruelty to a child after posting a video on You Tube, demonstrating how to "Make A Baby Fly".

The video is no longer posted on You Tube, however a news report has been posted, showing excerpts of the video, the teen gleefully posted.

In that video, the teen places the child on an inflatable pillow and then launches it, head over feet, across the room - landing on the bare floor. The infant, who is 8-months-old, was left in the care of the teen who shot the video footage. The other teen involved was his friend and sent the baby flying across the room.

"It was terrible," said Lee County Sheriff, Harold Breeden. "I can't believe a 16-year-old kid would do something like this."

The Lee County Sheriff's department has arrested the teen (who cannot be named because of his age), and booked him into the RYDC, a Juvenile Detention Center. He has been charged with 1st-degree cruelty to children and 3rd-degree cruelty to children.

Police charged the teen with two counts because it considers the act, and then the encouragement of the act, two separate offenses. Police are also leaving the case open, pending a doctor's examination to determine if the child sustained any injuries from the teens behavior.

"It's not going to be funny when the judge gets through with him," said Sheriff Breeden. "He'll think twice next time you know, about how funny it was."

At first it was reported that the boy behind the camera could not be charged with a crime as there was no way to prove that the boy knew what the other teen was about to do. But now, rumors of a second video seem to be a fact and the boy behind the camera is facing the same charges as his friend.

Here's a YouTube video of that local news broadcast regarding the alleged second video.



After reading the story on ThaLunatic Daily I couldn't help but follow up with commentary of my own as feel that incident is one of the most despicable things I have ever seen. The level of disregard for life to me just boggles the mind. Do we blame this entirely on the children involved or do we also place some blame on their parents and society as well. Why if it weren't for tv shows like Jackass or the WWE we might not have things like this occur, unless parents actually used their brains and supervise and teach their children like they ought to. No word on whether the baby is ok, I'm hoping he is. I think all involved including the parents should be brought up on charges and the infants care should be followed up weekly by a social worker once sentencing has been carried out until he reaches adulthood.

We can poke fun at the idea of hurting someone, say for example pushing an old woman down a flight of stairs like in the movie 'Throw Mama from the Train' with Danny DeVito and Billy Crystal.

We can possibly even see the humor in being dysfunctional and abusive to a child, like when Homer Simpson strangles Bart for acting up.



And how about Dead Baby Jokes? Those can be pretty funny, if you can see the humor in them.

Take Andrew Long's post about Baby On Board signs at Shut Your Sprech Hole, a funny take on how other driver's pay attention or react to those signs people put in the back window of their suv's.



Now that's funny. Only because humor is about referring to things in a manner that suggest an element of being funny. A tendency of particular images, stories or situations that provoke laughter and provide amusement which is sometimes subjective. Humor is comprised of three components: wit, mirth, and laughter. And it hardly ever involves real physical violence. The Three Stooges would concur, and I'm sure the makers of Jackass; Johnny Knoxville, Steve-O, etc. would agree as well (even though they go to some extremes on that show).

What isn't funny? Deliberately launching a baby across the room with intention to harm the child, video tape it and post it on YouTube. And then claiming you thought it was funny and didn't intend for the infant to get hurt. I got such a rise out of this I posted a comment on ThaLunatic's post;

~Static~ said...

OMG that is just sickening.
I hope they get the teen some MAJOR therapy and that the infant is ok.
July 6, 2008 8:48 AM

to which some dimwit claiming to be a personal friend of one of the teens responded;

the deef end said...

hey im a friend to that kid and there is nothing wrong with him just a stupid teenage mistake how many peope have swung their kids around thinking it was funny or made them dizzy and hurt them?? MANY! he did not want to hurt the baby he just mad[e] a mistake and it is ruining his life with all this publicity
July 7, 2008 11:38 PM

Well, I hope "deef end" is joking and if they aren't I hope they can pull their head outta their "rear end" long enough to wake up and smell the coffee. You can read my response to deef end and form your own opinions. Personally, I think if the 16-year-olds that did this did not want PUBLICITY then why did they post it on the internet?! They have less value than the energy expended to calculate their worth. If life was fair, I could only hope they'd do a triple summersault through the air, and disappear up their own assholes instead of making babies fly. It's still not funny, unless you are clinically insane or a complete fuckwit.

- FIN

Extreme Beer Pong

What can you do with some cups of water and a few chairs?

I want everyone who watches this video to forward it to
their parents. Then I want you all to encourage your
parents to forward it to their friends, their coworkers…
basically everyone they know. Why? Because I want this
kid's parents to see what he's been up to this semester.

Chad: (answers phone) Whaaazzzzaaaaaap?!

Chad's Dad: Chad? This is your father.

Chad: Daaaaad. Whazzzzzzaaaap?!

Chad's Dad: We need to have a talk.

Chad: (silent)

Chad's Dad: I saw a video of you on the YouTube.

Chad: Ohh… yeah? Sweeeeeet.

Chad's Dad: You must have spent a lot of time learning how
to do that.

Chad: Dude, bro, check it… I've been under like mad stress
this-

Chad's Dad: I'm not paying $30,000 a year for you to learn
how to throw ping pong balls into some plastic fucking
cups.

Chad: No, dad… it's not like tha-

Chad's Dad: You know all your posters are crooked, right?

I don't want him to get into serious trouble with his folks
or anything… just enough that he needs to get a job. Maybe
then he'll stop wearing his hat like that.

MorphThing

MorphThing morphs faces: give it two people and it'll combine them, to create a new person with the facial features of both.

You can use faces from hundreds of famous people on their site, or register to upload and morph pictures of your own.

And unlike other morphing software, MorphThing is completely free and online. No download is required! This thing is awesome!

Just see for yourself!

Where you can take these

Lindsay Lohan & Steve Carell




And you get this



A twenty-something year old virgin.

OR

Angelina Jolie & Gollum

This is their love child, YEAH BABY!



PRECIOUS!

Caption This

Here's a group of kids having fun.....?
But what about the one who looks a bit too eager, a psychotic future serial killer?
You decide.

The Top 15 Hard-To-Find Toys

Some of these are Michael Jackson's favorites, I'll let you figure out which ones...