How The Sci Fi Channel Became a Venereal Disease

SyFy (n.)

1. Slang for syphilis, a venereal disease.

2. Name of a TV network that shows imagination-based programming to go with their illusionary ratings. Failing after a re-branding press release insulted its core audience.

3. New phonetic spelling for the Sci Fi channel. This is so people texting about their favorite programs on the channel will not have to unnecessarily overtax their brains or thumbs.

How does that happen you ask? Because the greatest network on cable, The Sci Fi Channel (reknown for their quality original films) has changed their abbreviated nickname to SyFy...a term associated with syphilis.

To Be A Cop Or To Be A Racial Profiler..That Is The Question

The ill-advised (in my opinion) arrest of Harvard Professor Henry Lewis Gates last week by Cambridge Police Officer Sgt. James Crowley for being "uppity", caught the attention of the nation, but it was President Obama's comment that the Cambridge Police "acted stupidly" and the rather terrible response by the Cambridge Police Union at its press conference, which created a much-needed national conversation about race, law enforcement, and American culture.

Continue reading more about bigotry, racism, and hatred in law enforcement.

My Chat Session With "Steve"

I recently picked up a Palm Pre from some shlep on Craigslist. I am hopeful they aren't an eStalker, or a serial killer...actually I do, simply because I'd like to take them out. I enjoy raping and strangling serial killers (more than I do clowns, but sometimes it's a real bonus when they are both). So anyhow, as luck would have it, the damn thing has had connectivity issues (they can be resolved), but I needed "technical support" at Palm to help me get it resolved. Anyway, here's that conversation.

Can You Hear Me Now?

"The inability to stay quiet is one
of the conspicuous failings of mankind."

- Walter Bagehot, 1826-1877

I'm sure you've all been asking yourselves "where has that wild and crazy guy, Static been?" I'll tell you in this torrid tale, just for your inquiring minds that will make your socks shoot off your feet, right into the dirty clothes hamper. It's about damn time too, they were starting to get all crunchy it's been so long since ya changed 'em. Hasn't it?

My gripe of the week: Goddamn cellphone tards! Consider yourself warned.

Lick The Big Bone (Revised)

 

"The greatest service which can be rendered any country is to add a useful plant to its culture."

- Thomas Jefferson

I don't know about you, but I sure would like a puff of whatever plants he was smokin'.

You can thank Thomas Jefferson, the third President of the United States (1801–1809), and the principal author of the Declaration of Independence (1776), for starting what would become the largest collection of North American Mammoth fossil bones (in scientific speak that means, old massive pricks.) **No thanks to that wonderful duo, Lewis and Clark and their perverse expedition across America.**

History and science come together in this fascinating story of a woodland salt lick, and how the fossilized Big Bones found there influenced the beginnings of paleontological pornography in America.