15 Rejected TV Pilots

(To be buried forever!) Never judge a book by it's cover, even if it's a little book. Or a little person. They're people too you know.

It's just that, they can do some things that average people can't, like undetected shoplifting. And playing stunt-double to some child actor who will no doubt grow more and more awkward-looking. And such useful skills as not kneeling down to pick up anything, ever.

Speaking of not getting picked up, here's 15 TV pilots that never made it past the heads of network studios, deemed too dreadful even for viewers such as yourselves.

The Evolution of Pharmaceuticals

As the health care reform debate reaches it's pinnacle of lunacy, I think it's high time to blow off some much needed steam...by focusing on the general public outcry for affordable medications and health care (and how they feel about it) whether the government is involved or not! Y'know, because the general public is sick and tired of getting ass-raped by pharmaceutical companies (one of the real evils in all of this)?

The Evolution of Pharmaceuticals

	2000 B.C. - Here, eat this root.

	1000 A.D. - That root is heathen. Here, say this prayer.

	1850 A.D. - That prayer is superstition. Here, drink this potion.

	1940 A.D. - That potion is snake oil. Here, swallow this pill.

	1985 A.D. - That pill is ineffective. Here, take this antibiotic.

	2000 A.D. - That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root.

	2040 A.D. - That root is gone. Extinct. Nada. Here, shove this sand in your bio-port!

*note: This article was not endorsed or approved of by Pfizer, Procter & Gamble, Johnson & Johnson, Bayer, AstraZeneca, 3M Pharmaceuticals, Bristol-Myers Squibb, Biogen Idec, nor any other Big/Little/or Medium-sized Pharma company. But they sure like teh buttsecks!...this article also does not take into account that 2012 is the end of the world according to the Mayan calendar.

How The Sci Fi Channel Became a Venereal Disease

SyFy (n.)

1. Slang for syphilis, a venereal disease.

2. Name of a TV network that shows imagination-based programming to go with their illusionary ratings. Failing after a re-branding press release insulted its core audience.

3. New phonetic spelling for the Sci Fi channel. This is so people texting about their favorite programs on the channel will not have to unnecessarily overtax their brains or thumbs.

How does that happen you ask? Because the greatest network on cable, The Sci Fi Channel (reknown for their quality original films) has changed their abbreviated nickname to SyFy...a term associated with syphilis.

To Be A Cop Or To Be A Racial Profiler..That Is The Question

The ill-advised (in my opinion) arrest of Harvard Professor Henry Lewis Gates last week by Cambridge Police Officer Sgt. James Crowley for being "uppity", caught the attention of the nation, but it was President Obama's comment that the Cambridge Police "acted stupidly" and the rather terrible response by the Cambridge Police Union at its press conference, which created a much-needed national conversation about race, law enforcement, and American culture.

Continue reading more about bigotry, racism, and hatred in law enforcement.

My Chat Session With "Steve"

I recently picked up a Palm Pre from some shlep on Craigslist. I am hopeful they aren't an eStalker, or a serial killer...actually I do, simply because I'd like to take them out. I enjoy raping and strangling serial killers (more than I do clowns, but sometimes it's a real bonus when they are both). So anyhow, as luck would have it, the damn thing has had connectivity issues (they can be resolved), but I needed "technical support" at Palm to help me get it resolved. Anyway, here's that conversation.