A Fatal Exception Has Occured

Goodbye Prez Cheeto Hello Post-pandemic Keto

Whatever

Whatever helps you sleep at night.

Face Sporks

Drain Bamage, Rocky, Drain Bamage

SALTY TODAY

Black Friday Surprise

President Trump Blind After Staring at Solar Eclipse

"What on Gawd's green earth is THAT?"

The Struggle is Real

The Best Part of the 90s

#BestPartOfThe90sWas when they were over. Just kidding. Obviously it was fanny packs.

— Static (@Krapsody) May 20, 2016

Five Facts About Sphincterology

Holden Caulfield might be the only one who thinks Sphincterology was a phony religion, but the rest of us know better. Holden was the first to admit he's the most terrific liar you ever saw in your life, so it's safe to assume that a lunatic confined in a psychiatric hospital with an unnamed diagnosis would know jack shit about Sphincterology, unless he was a psychiatrically disturbed, drug addicted En Ron Flubbard. Let's make sure that doesn't happen to you. Should you ever encounter any argumentative non-believers amongst you, here are five fast facts to add to your arsenal which will put heathens in their place.

RIP Kenny Loggins

5 Reasons Jean Claude Van Damme's Mullet is the Greatest Actor in the History of Cinema

| Dec. 11, 2014

Let's just get this straight. Forget his flexibility, Van Damme had THE best mullet ever. His mullet might be the only time a mullet has been successfully pulled off in the history of cinema. Look at Hard Target. Why, if it weren't for Van Damme's mullet the film would have no action appeal whatsoever (just like this clip from the director's cut). It would be the same old boring blah blah whatever movie that would be forgotten minutes after seeing it. It would have been a literal snoozefest. Let's face it, his mullet carried that film.

Go Ahead, Meme Me

| Nov. 20, 2014

"1,478,954,217,389 allegations of rape? Have another pudding pop. Zipzopzubittybop!" - Bill Cosby

(sources: childhood ruined -- *sobs uncontrollably)

In Memoriam of Jollybags

| Nov. 16, 2014

Dear whomever left a used condom at the end of my driveway,

Please quit leaving your discarded prophylactics lying around for others to see, or possibly have to pickup. It was basically lying in the street, but still. You are disgusting. Did you drop it there because you wanted to leave behind some kind of proof of your conquest? That's an odd thing to do unless you meant it as a message for someone. If I am that someone, well then, I am not sure I understand the message.

Duck Dynasty's Phil Robertson Puts the Nasty in Dynasty

| Dec. 30, 2013

In this stunning, never-before-seen and recently uncovered video, Duck Dynasty star Phil Robertson has some hobbies that most people will find far outside the mainstream.



Drink up, wise quacker, your beard needs lots of nourishment--giving the rest of us a real reason to "fear the beard".

One Way to Find the Inner Peace You're Looking For

Tired of that obscene emptiness and that dark inner void on the road to seeking your inner peace? Well, after all the crazy stuff that's gone down in the media lately, I think we could all use a moment to relax and just forget about it all.

Here, this should help:

LINK

Waldo Did It

The evidence against Waldo is overwhelming. The sneaky little bastard.

Mayan Death Toad Destroys World Today

Friday December 21, 2012 (Krapsody) — In case you didn't get the memo: The world is coming to an end! Over two thousand bazillion years ago the Mayans predicted a giant death toad was going to appear in the sky, it will eat the sun and rays will shoot out of it's eyes destroying the universe as we know it.

Now I know some people are going to want to lick it, but the Mayan Death Toad won't have it. This is no time for last minute wishes or regrets. Too late. There's no escape. Just ask people in time zones ahead of us, like in China or Australia. But you can't because they're all gone! If you have been told that China and all it's people are still there, you're wrong! The cunning Mayan Death Toad knows how to trick people. It's had over two thousand bazillion years to prepare for this moment!

So What If It's An Empty Chair, It's Therapy

Eastwood is justifiably angry.
Because he's old.

After Clint Eastwood's appearance at the RNC to support Mitt Romney, his empty chair routine thrilled delegates but lost the rest of us. This peculiar performance has had critics doing cartwheels. I'm not quite sure why this was so shocking or funny to some people. It's not like we haven't, or won't experience at some point the effects of aging on those near and dear to ourselves. Here is my reasoning behind Eastwood's behavior in a piece I'd like to call "Empty Chair, Empty Minds, Empty Hearts".