ONO [Fail]
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Showing posts with label FAIL. Show all posts
Showing posts with label FAIL. Show all posts
The Grapes of Confusion
| Jan. 08, 2015
If confusion is the door that wisdom comes through then what the hell is this? Just so there's no confusion, prepare to be confused. Continue reading for information that will completely blow your mind, but may ultimately frighten you and send you back to your regular routines. May "Bob" have mercy on your souls. Reader discretion is advised.......................................................................................................................
Mayan Death Toad Destroys World Today
Friday December 21, 2012 (Krapsody) — In case you didn't get the memo: The world is coming to an end! Over two thousand bazillion years ago the Mayans predicted a giant death toad was going to appear in the sky, it will eat the sun and rays will shoot out of it's eyes destroying the universe as we know it.
Now I know some people are going to want to lick it, but the Mayan Death Toad won't have it. This is no time for last minute wishes or regrets. Too late. There's no escape. Just ask people in time zones ahead of us, like in China or Australia. But you can't because they're all gone! If you have been told that China and all it's people are still there, you're wrong! The cunning Mayan Death Toad knows how to trick people. It's had over two thousand bazillion years to prepare for this moment!
CACA Needs Your Support In The Fight Against DWTS
Scientists and entertainers on ABC have JUST gotten out of hand. Their foul plans bring godlessness and corruption to everything they touch. They have defied Gawd's Holy Word and have committed the following abominations against Gawd and Man:
- made the earth round
- made monkeys unto our forefathers
- allowed women to read and write, to have orgasms, and lay with other women
Cogito, Ergo Confundo - I Think, Therefore I am Confused
with
Krapsody.com Reporter Dubious Monk
Inside Tropical Storm Irene
NEWSFLASH! Everything in New England shut down as Irene was downgraded from a hurricane to a tropical storm. As the storm was overhead, I scurried down to the hurricane barriers in Providence, RI to catch the action but there was none to be found.
I Can't Get No
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| Sometimes you can't.... Get Satisfaction FAIL (click pic to enlarge) Want more background on this post? Click Here |
Krapsody v. Casey Anthony
More--->
—tags: Casey Anthony, Celebs, Demotivators, FAIL, funny pictures, internet, memes, parodies, satire, spoofs, stupid
5 Tips For Losing Weight Fast
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Summer is finally here. And I have some handy tips compiled in a short list for losing that winter weight fast. Five to be exact - not ten or twenty - that is so 2005. At any rate, after months of being stored under the stairwell, I got out the bike, lubed it up, and checked all the linkages. Gears shifting smoothly, check. Brakes, check. Proper tire pressure, check. I'll take it out for a test spin. Just peddle around a couple miles. No problem. It'll be good exercise.
I carefully carry the bike out through the front door and out onto the porch. I lock up, suit up, and I'm off down the street. I am pedaling away like a 10-year-old with boundless energy. Thrusting my right foot in front of my left as if I am floating on air. Oh, yeah, this is easy. Seven months since I've ridden and I am like a god on wheels.
—tags: comedy, commentary, Even I can't make this shit up, FAIL, rants, sucks
Why The Rapture Failed
And lo, it came to pass that Macho Man Randy Savage did prevent the impending Rapture. Amen.
Macho Man Randy Savage Dies In Car Accident (5/20/2011 day before Rapture prediction) [Full Story]
The Ruptured
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| LINK Oh, cheer up Harold. We all make mistakes. It's not the end of the world. Further reading amusement: Harold Camping - "World will actually end in October" |
Leave It To Bieber
—tags: Bieber Fever, Celebs, FAIL, humor, internet, memes, Photochops, spoofs
For Rent: 4.5 Billion-Year-Old Ball of Fire
*based on a news story involving, Angeles Duran, who lives in Salvaterra do Mino, Spain. She recently laid claim to the sun legally.
According to an AFP article:
"...she now wants to slap a fee on everyone who uses the sun and give half of the proceeds to the Spanish government and 20 percent to the nation's pension fund.
She would dedicate another 10 percent to research, another 10 percent to ending world hunger -- and would keep the remaining 10 percent herself."
Half the proceeds to the government? Really?? 20 percent to the nation's pension fund? And only 10 percent to research, another 10 percent to ending world hunger, and the remaining 10 percent for herself?? Gee...how altruistic of her.
News on the street is that she will have to adjust the lease to prorate the rent for those days when there have been, or will be, a full or partial solar eclipse.
Additionally, this extends to solar flare activity as well, which disrupts electronics and satellites orbiting our planet. Disruptions in service include cellphone reception and telecommunications transmissions on other technological devices including electrical power.
Lest I forget, a class action lawsuit is in the works: people who have been burnt by the Sun and/or end up with skin cancers are suing Ms. Duran for pain and suffering caused by her celestial body, as well as her responsibility for global warming. Lots of pissed off people I gather. She should be getting bitch slapped with the subpoena as this article is being published. Not such a good idea now, is it, Ms. Duran? 0 percent win. 100 percent FAIL.
Looks Like the Joke is on Someone Else
LiveJournal user hydrogen_crane posted a recent entry on their blog, thinking my post about a satirical Daily Squib article KKK endorses Obama was actually true.
Quickpost this image to Myspace, Digg, Facebook, and others!
I hate to disappoint anyone. I didn't even write it and I posted a link to the article at the Daily Squib along with a bold print disclaimer stating: "Note:The Daily Squib is a satirical publication and should therefore not be taken too fu**ing seriously."
It just goes to show you just can't believe everything you see and hear, now can you? This is a prime example of people being incapable of understanding satire. Looks like the joke is on someone else for a change. I liked the reference to Dungeons & Dragons in his post.
If hydrogen_crane happens to be reading this then I do apologize. Stop watching CNN right now. Here's a factual story for you to follow up with on your journal. Happy reporting!
Bush Reveals Tap Water as Prescription Drug Plan
On a day when millions Americans were reeling from the news that there were trace amounts of prescription drugs in their drinking water, President George W. Bush made a stunning announcement at the White House.
“I am responsible for this,” Mr. Bush told reporters. “This is my idea of a prescription drug plan.”
Standing before a banner reading “Prescription Accomplished,” the president said that he hoped providing Americans with free medications via their tap water would prove to be “the finest legacy” of his Administration.
Mr. Bush indicated that America’s drug-laced waters could boost tourism in the U.S., adding that English rocker Pete Doherty was “getting on the next plane over here.”
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